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1. A customized New York Times front-page puzzle to let him know that he's A1 material.
2. A pillow massager with heat he'll be glad to have on hand (or on back, rather) when he's stuck in traffic.
3. The Noma Guide to Fermentation if you fermeant to cop this piece of exquisite culinary literature for your foodie dad when it dropped last year.
4. A Levi's trucker jacket to give him a timeless fashion staple he can layer up with in the colder months.
5. A pair of "winterized" Puma running shoes for the runner dad who won't let the frigid temps get in the way of his morning jog.
6. A waterproof Kindle Oasis with adjustable warm light so nothing will get in the way of him and his reading.
7. A quality record player if you want to turn the tables on him and gift a piece of his own youth.
8. A Philips sunrise simulation alarm clock for the dad who's forgotten there's an alternative to being jolted awake by a grating beep sound every morning.
9. A pair of Birkenstock slip-ons to give him a more fashion-forward loungewear alternative to the Crocs he wears to spite you.
10. A pack of warm merino wool socks that'll get him through winter, comfortably. (An exceptional pairing with the slip-ons I might add.)
11. A sleek amenity kit for the always-traveling-for-business dad who is one sleepless flight away from becoming Larry David.
12. A brushed-twill baseball cap so he can hat tip his actual favorite child, the Volvo stationwagon.
13. A pair of truly luxurious comfort boots he'll be able to dress down as a light work boot or dress up as a formal boot.
14. A DIY hot sauce kit for the dad who should really just be making his own condiments at the rate he offers his feedback to restaurant servers.
15. A turtleneck sweater to give him a fit that'll match his wisdom and sophistication.
16. A T-shirt to pay homage to the bone-chilling blue screen of death — classic techie-dad humor he'll surely appreciate.
17. A Dollar Shave Starter Kit that'll shave hours off your search for the perfect gift.
18. An acrylic Squatty Potty, because he's your number one and you wish him nothing but the best for his number twos.
19. An indoor herb garden with an LED light kit that'll give him something to rave about, and/or eat, at the next family dinner.
20. A thermal light shirt jacket that'll give him enough insulated warmth to survive the colder season without weighing him down and a water-repellent shell to keep his upper body dry. (As for his eyes? Expect waterworks.)
21. A hiker subscription box for the dad who likes to hit the trails — but never before packing an awe-inspiring variety of organic granola bars.
22. A portable hammock he can take with him and be the most enviable guy on the campsite.
23. A water flosser for the dad whose idea of fun is responsible dental hygiene.
24. A wine saver with two vacuum stoppers so any leisurely drinker dad can hold onto his precious grapes for as long as he pleases.
25. A pair of sworn-by performance Bluetooth headphones he won't have to sweat about ruining at the gym.
26. A Bluetooth-enabled sous vide precision cooker, because nothing can get a dad reeling quite like some perfectly cooked meats and/or veggies.
27. A minimalist travel tumbler for the dad who has an eye for good design.
28. A 2020 New Yorker cartoon calendar so your high-brow dad can start every day with a chuckle.
29. A subscription to Atlas Coffee Club to go all-in on the coffee thing and give him a taste of some fresh exotic beans
30. And rustic moose-pattern blanket he'll be able to cozy up with 'round the campfire or at a stadium.
Is your dad ready for the quality gifts that are in store for him? No he is not.
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.