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Blobfish: I Am Better Than You, Sloth!

Sloths have a really great reputation because stupid celebrities like Kristen "Veronica Mars" Bell have become very public about their adoration for the animal that SUPPOSEDLY moves really slowly and laboriously. However, few people know about the OG slow-moving creature, the sloth of the ocean: me, the Blobfish. Eat your heart out KBell.

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Wikipedia: "The flesh of the blobfish is primarily a gelatinous mass with a density slightly less than water; this allows the fish to float above the sea floor WITHOUT EXPANDING ENERGY ON SWIMMING."

Wikipedia: "Its relative lack of muscle is not a disadvantage as it primarily swallows edible matter THAT FLOATS IN FRONT OF IT."

Via flickr.com

I refuse to go out of my way to eat, because I have so many other important things on my list.

Baking scones are far too tedious and completely out of the question.

Us Blobfish don't have friends. We just occasionally bumps into creatures of the same species. Friendships are WAY too mundane and tedious.

Via nmfs.noaa.gov

It's like, who wants to do brunch? Mimosas, lounging and getting food brought to you?

Actually, I'd totally do brunch.

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Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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