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A Guide To Dating Much Older Women According To "Harold And Maude"

If The Graduate introduced audiences to the first one-night stand with a cougar, Harold and Maude still taught us the compelling nature of love and its capacity to ignore the trivial significance of age. Here's the advice offered by younger, death-obsessed Harold for young men seeking older ladyloves like capricious, elderly Maude.

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You're confused as to where to start when trying to court a much older lady? Harold's been there and done that, so here's his advice for you.


REMINDER (slash SPOILER): Harold gets some from Maude. Listen to him, he knows what he's doing.

Once you have her, don't ever let her think of any topic for more than 2 minutes. Thinking that long about a serious subject will only turn her whimsical nature into sourness and spite.

But make sure she cares about SOMETHING and encourage her to pursue her unimportant passion like the DAR or AA. Old women without a purpose (however useless it may be) quickly turn into spinsters and foster cats.

Don't ever let her know about your emo years when you listened to a lot of Radiohead and kept a journal. Sadly, there are pictures, which is why you should immediately set them (and all other copies) on fire.

Feel free to be yourself and share your most secretive hobbies with her. It's likely your cougar is into weird crap too.

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