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35 Life Lessons We Learned From "Heavyweights"

We can't all be skinny wieners. So Tony, Gerry and the gang give us some important lessons to live by.

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5. The opposite sex is totally attainable.

Camp Magnolia Girl #1: Why don't those guys just lose weight?

Camp Magnolia Girl #2: Why don't you show them how to throw up after meals like you did?

14. The PerkiSystem can help turn you into a skinny weiner.

Via brianorndorf.com

"Time to wake up, campers! Today is evaluation day. The key word here is 'value.' Do you have any? Not yet! But before summer's over, this camp's gonna be filled with skinny winners!"

"Skinny weiners?"

28. Serenity (ommmm) is the Tony Perkins way of life.

Via tumblr.com

"Did you ever hear the story of Icarus, who continually rolled the ball up the hill? But when he got too close, the ball melted in the heat of the Sun. You're all like Icarus."

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