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Which O'Neill Are You?

For every O'Neill there is a Rachel. For every Matt there is a Melee. Find out which O'Neill you are the most.

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  1. Who would you date if you had the chance?

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    Pegs
    Correct
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    A Pumpkin
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    A man DUH
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    J. Grimes
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    Any asian or mexican girl
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    Ganondorf
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    Paige Donahue cause she's a good christian girl
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    My truck
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    Sandy Cheeks
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    A girl with a personality of a brick wall and an annoying dog
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    Rachel Rachel Rachel Rachel
  2. What's your stance on Drugs?

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    Do all the drugs
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    Mary Jane is cool
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    Eh.
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    I won't do any of them, but they should all be legalized
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    Melee is my only drug
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    If you do drugs you are a terrible, awful human being and will never succeed in life
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    I sniff gasoline
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    I wanna try them, but only if I'm tricked into trying them
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    I can't. I'm a runner
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    I just wanna do loads of cocaine
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    Only if Rachel does them with me
  3. Describe Your Feelings on School Dances?

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    I pulled the old switcheroo and I will not let you forget it
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    SOPHOMORE YEAR HOMECOMING!!! *goes off into the bathroom and cries*
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    Spent all my years trying to go for a girl who ended up friendzoning me. Whatever. At least my after parties were legendary
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    I went with Joey Hynes the first two years. Then I met Rachel
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    We stood around and occasionally poked each other in the face
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    Whoever I was with, I would soon no longer be with like 3 months down the line
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    I got piss drunk at prom to avoid the fact that my date had the personality of a blank piece of paper
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    .....something.......really not chill happened last night......
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    None of my plans went according to plan, and I ended up with a dad bod
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    YYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHHH MUUUURRRRAAAYYYY
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    I need to bring more goats next time...
  4. How do you typically pay for alcohol?

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    The "Dan Discount"
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    Full price with a fake
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    My friends always give me some
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    Alcohol? No thanks bro, I'm too busy living my life
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    Don't tell Rachel I'm drinking
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    People don't make me pay because they just like me
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    My friends buy it for me, and then I pay some of the amount sometimes
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    The only alcohol I drink is the blessed blood of Christ
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    My sister can get me some anytime. Otherwise my army dads got my back
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    You guys ever here of trashcan?
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    Oh I "gave that up." Also, everyone watch me take these two shots
  5. If you asked your parents to go out, what is her response?

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    No alcohol?
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    Oh....sure you can... (prepares a bamboozle)
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    My mom doesn't know I'm out
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    Sorry guys I can't. Hanging with Randy
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    Sure you can! But home by 10, and as long as Danny and Ethan aren't there
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    My dad just called me a loser but my mom let me out. If my dad calls again I'll just not go home
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    I'm too lazy to go out so I don't ask
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    I don't ask my parents. I ask Rachel
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    My parent's will typically let me go out, but they won't let me leave with the CRT
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    YES! FINALLY! GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE A LIFE
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    My mustang leaves the driveway faster than my parents can respond
  6. How would you describe your college experience thus far?

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    I tried alcohol once......and I have a girlfriend.....so that's cool
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    I'm miserable
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    I've actually been really successful surpassing my own expectations
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    I go to such a stereotypical college and I love it
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    All my friends transferred and left me all alone....
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    Honestly, no one knows what I'm even doing
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    I sit in my dorm, eat food that is slowly killing me, am alone, and I love it
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    I almost get into fights on a daily basis
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    My roommate is literally having sex right next to me
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    Again, I need to ask, have you guys heard of this thing called "The Trashcan?"
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    Running and bamboozling
  7. How would you describe your sense of humor?

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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an alright guy. I try to keep it clean and witty
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
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    I'm an asshole
  8. What is your ideal date?

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    Watching the Blackhawks/Cubs game and even if we're making out, I will stop, get up, and cheer obnoxiously
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    Getting ice-cream and then creepily driving around my friends house hoping they'll let us in
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    Movie, then Chipotle, then somehow finding a way to spend 4hrs in Half-Priced Books
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    Two Words: "Math Party"
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    I would honestly blow it super out of proportion to the point where you'd either find me really sweet or downright creepy
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    Going to church and praying
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    Watching Netflix in my basement and then scurrying to find our clothes as my brother walks downstairs
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    Playing Super Smash Brothers Melee and teaching you how to wavedash
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    Driving. Like just driving around. If you wanna makeout we can but I'd like to just drive
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    Ice-cream and Spongebob. Otherwise you'll get bored of me
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    Taking my shirt off during a makeout sesh followed by a stern talking to from my date
  9. What is the stupidest phrase below?

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    But, isn't molasses a type of snail?
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    Mom, they keep making fun of me and saying "C'MON" and "Jeez Louise"
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    Now I know you're all going to yell at me, but what's Auschwitz?
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    So as soon as I got out of the shower, they just handed me a shot, and without knowing what was in it, I just drank it all
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    "Hey did you know that Dan Blizerian actually pays for everything he has?" "Really? What a loser"
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    Please Roofie me!
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    If I was fighting a crocodile, I would stick my leg down it's mouth, so that it bites off my leg and while it's eating that I can shove my fingers up its nose
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    I run out of liquor stores because I'm gay
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    Fine then, maybe I'll just go make plans with Rachel
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    Help me school! There are children everywhere! They are causing a nuisance!
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    Long John Silver's is a good, quality restaurant
  10. What is your weakness?

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    Bourbon. Never again
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    A girl with a PHAT ass
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    Edibles
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    Physical activity that exceeds 5 minutes
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    Blonde girls with blue eyes that go to Loyola
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    Marth, because in Melee, his grab is 1.9x further than it should be
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    Autoshift cars
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    Laying on my side
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    Trying to keep a joke going
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    Seeing oncoming cars
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    Homecoming celebrations
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