We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about their first-date deal breakers. Here are the best responses.
1. Maybe don't bring up future plans for the relationship on date numero uno.
"Such a deal breaker for me is talking about the future on a first date! Obviously we all have plans and goals, but for the time being let’s try not to include me in them when I can barely remember your last name!"
2. Everybody eats. Keep it a judgement-free zone.
"Don't assume that because I'm female I will sip water and nibble salad. Don't judge me for ordering a big burger."
3. Save the YouTube videos for another date.
"If someone makes you watch a YouTube video or listen to a song or something on their phone in public without headphones."
4. Remember that a conversation is a two-way street.
"If they do all the talking and don't pay any interest [to] hearing or learning anything about me the entire damn date. That is a clear sign you are dealing with someone who has narcissistic tendencies and isn't going to give a real shit about you."
5. Treat everyone with respect.
"Badly treating the service staff/waiters/basically bad manners. If anyone treats minimum-wage workers like they’re less than humans, it’s a major red flag."
6. Nobody wants to date a negative nancy.
"Someone who is really negative! I went on a date one time with this guy, and it was honestly exhausting because he was such a Debbie Downer. For example:
Dude: I work in marketing.
Me: Oh, that must be interesting.
Dude: Not really.
Dude: I belong to a CrossFit gym.
Me: Wow, I've heard that's a really intense workout. It sounds like fun.
Dude: I guess.
"First dates are all about conversation, and when you're being so negative about all aspects of your life, it makes it super hard to want to get to know you. You don't have to be super happy-go-lucky all the time, but you do need to go in with a somewhat positive attitude."
7. Consent is sexy. Being overly handsy is not.
"Getting really handsy!! I went on a date once, and it was going really well; we kissed pretty early on. However, on our way to the next place, he grabbed my hand, which was ok, but then let go of my hand and put his arm around my waist, still ok, but then he grabbed my butt! While some PDA I don’t mind, I did mind that because I don’t know you. That’s awful presumptuous to think I’d be ok with you grabbing me that way. No second date."
8. Follow your momma's rules and close that damn mouth.
"Someone who talks with their mouth full, smacks their lips when they chew, or [is] rude to others."
9. Big surprise here, but you should probably pay attention to your date.
"Making me feel like I'm on a date by myself — whether that be him/her/them constantly on their phone, walking far in front/behind me, or just not being 'present.'"
10. A good general rule of thumb is to not say shitty things about women. Go figure!
"I once went on a date with a guy who called his sister a bitch. He also made some weird comments about his female coworkers. While he was completely polite to me, the derogatory terms he used for the other women in his life raised some red flags."
11. It's not cool to play it cool.
"Trying to show off or play it ‘cool.'"
12. Speak with passion not with a megaphone.
"I went to dinner with this guy once, and he was such a loud talker. He didn't have hearing loss or anything, just practically yelled when we were trying to have a normal conversation. It was so awkward having everyone stare, and I would ask him to talk lower and he would be like, 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN? AM I TOO LOUD?' He was also a messy eater so... It's a no from me."
13. Put down your gosh dang phone, my dudes.
"Being on their phone! As selfish as it may sound, if they can’t give me attention and respect while they’re first trying to learn about me and get to know me, they won’t give me attention and respect down the line when they’ve already gotten used to me."
14. Listening good. Constant interjecting not good.
"I know we all want to date someone who’s a good listener, but I once went on a date with a guy whose 'I’m listening' interjections were rapid-fire and so distracting that I was convinced he wasn’t even listening to what I was saying. Example:
Me: So after I graduated from college, I—
Me: —moved to New York—
Me: —to complete a post-grad internship.
Him: Oh, wow.
"LET ME GET THROUGH A SENTENCE, CHAD."
15. Practice your stand-up routine somewhere else.
"I once went on a date with someone who honestly seemed like he was practicing a stand-up routine. He would tell a joke and then laugh extremely hard at his own joke while repeating the punchline at me. He did this for the entire date and barely asked anything about me or attempted to have a conversation. To make things worse, not a single of his jokes made me laugh."
16. Make a little effort with your appearance.
"When they don’t dress nicely, or wear a T-shirt on a date. Like, try to impress me."
17. Let us mansplain this for you. *inhales* Don't mansplain. Ever.
"I recently went out with a guy who felt it appropriate to mansplain to me two things: how to play football including the best defensive strategies and marketing techniques for his recently opened small business that he was struggling to implement.
"I play middle linebacker in football (and have for 8 years), and I've been a marketing manager for over 10 years. We had had multiple conversations about these two facts about me prior to the date, and he kept interrupting when I tried to interject that I knew what I was talking about.
"Just...don't insult people on a first date."