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Which God(s) Are Judging You Right Now, & How Hard

By answering these simple questions, we will tell you which God(s) have their eye on you, and if they are judging you AF.

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  1. Which is your favorite lettuce

    Pick your most eaten lettuce right now:

    Butter Lettuce
    Via livegourmet.com
    Butter Lettuce
    Romaine Lettuce
    Via simplyrecipes.com
    Romaine Lettuce
    Arugula
    Via gourmet.com
    Arugula
    Spinach
    Via bbcgoodfood.com
    Spinach
    Iceberg
    Via Twitter: @lettucecult
    Iceberg
    Cartoon Lettuce
    Via clipartfest.com
    Cartoon Lettuce
  2. What is the MOST annoying:

    Select the thing that annoys you MOST

    When you arrive at the castle with your scuba gear but the moat is all dried up
    When you tried to steam open your uncles letter but the ink runs
    When your collection of lobster grease catches fire at the back of the school bus and casualties ensue.
    When you throw an onion at a ceiling fan but the result is slower salad not faster salad
    Men who breathe or speak or both
    Horses who prance better than your aunt Becky. HOW DARE THEY!
  3. Which scenario is your DREAM COME TRUE

    if the afterlife is real, heaven would be:

    Poppin' dat bubble wrap, SON! forever and ever
    Being wrapped in a blanket of sizzling bacon and gently lowered into a cozy tar pit
    Forever peeling endless dried skin of your feet
    Living happily ever after with your family of pet eels atop a snowy mountain
    Fitting 3,000 marshmallows into your mouth at one time
  4. PICK A CORN ANY CORN

    Popcorn
    Via bsnscb.com
    Popcorn
    Baby dressed as candy corn
    Via huffingtonpost.com
    Baby dressed as candy corn
    Your friend, the corn.
    Via funnyjunk.com
    Your friend, the corn.
    Dad in a corn costume
    Via halloweencostume.com
    Dad in a corn costume
    Ya Burnt Corn
    Via guyswholiketocook.blogspot.cl
    Ya Burnt Corn

Which God(s) Are Judging You Right Now, & How Hard

You got: Jesus Judging you SO HARD

That good old fashioned Christian son of God is judging you. He's judging you HARD. You like to think you're a good person, but let's be real. You scream OH MY GOD when you orgasm and JESUS CHRIST when you stub your toe. And don't think he doesn't judge your boring AF stamp collection. Jesus didn't die for your sins so you could waste your life on being as interesting as wet cardboard. Best case scenario you end up in limbo, but more likely your afterlife has LUCIFER written all over it.

Jesus Judging you SO HARD
zwingliusredivivus.wordpress.com
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You got: Ganesh is Judging you a medium amount.

Many arm, much trunk, very elephant. Ganesh disproves of your topsy-turvey lifestyle, he isn't sold on how you always park over the yellow line, and he thinks it's downright RUDE the way you don't wash your hands after taking a piss. That being said, he's already bored of you. Pass the hot sauce.

Ganesh is Judging you a medium amount.
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You got: Buddha is judging you. but not more than you judge yourself.

Buddah knows you are a selfish lout who only cares about one thing: getting paid. He sees the way you covet dat bling, but Buddha has reached enlightenment, so not much bothers him. He also doesn't believe in hell, so whether or not you spend the rest of your capitalist pig lifetime chasing tail or chasing fat stacks o cheddah hardly matters. nothing matters. Life is meaningless. You will be reincarnated as an alligator.

Buddha is judging you. but not more than you judge yourself.
tattoodesigns24.com
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You got: Entire pantheon of Greek Gods. Judging you HARD AF.

Well this is Awkward. You've managed to piss off the ENTIRE PANTHEON of Greek Gods. Mount Olympus mad AF. Cancel your Greek holiday immediately. Each one has their own specific gripe with how you live your life, and that my friend, is dangerous. How you managed to screw life on earth up so hard is beyond comprehension, but if you don't build an alter in your tiny studio apartment for each and every one of these guys ASAP you're done for. DONE FOR.

Entire pantheon of Greek Gods. Judging you HARD AF.
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