Pavlovas Are Not A Nice Dessert And New Zealand Can Keep Them

Me: "I don't like pavlova." Any Aussie in the vicinity: "You're not a REEAAL Australian."

If you're an Aussie, you likely grew up gorging on this dessert at every Christmas, birthday and miscellaneous holiday celebration.

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And if you're not an Aussie, let me introduce you to the pavlova: Meringue, cream and fruit on top.

And people are weirdly obsessed with it.

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Seriously, there's a whole debate about whether the pav was invented in New Zealand or Australia. Apparently it's a point of national pride?

But in actual truth, pavlova is NOT a great dessert.

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It needed to be said and I'm not going to hide in the shadows any more.

First up, it's suuuuuper crumbly, so cutting into it is a Monica Geller nightmare.

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Not to mention sticky — everyone ends up looking like a toddler.

And when you're eating it, your lips are meringue-city, so it literally looks like you're licking up dandruff.

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Which is you know, a GREAT look.

Plus, while I will admit proper meringue is ~tasty~ that shit is easy AF to stuff up and sometimes it's like chewing on cardboard.

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I don't know if this is a piece of meringue, or a chip off my tooth.

After the meringue, it's just a towering mountain of cream.

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Yeah not a fan tbh.

The fruit on the top is honestly the highlight, but if you use an out-of-season fruit for the ~aesthetic~ (passion fruit should not be eaten out of a tin), it's like eating soured milk.

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Plus, sometimes people put a glaze on the fruit and it's super gooey and unappetising.

Not to mention, pavlovas are precarious AF, so if that's what you're pinning your hopes on for dessert, there's so much THAT WILL GO WRONG.

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And when you drop one, you better believe that the cream splatters everywhere.

In the end, we're all just better off with lamingtons and fairy bread — the superior Aussie dessert.

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New Zealand can keep the pav.