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22 Things Only People Who Went To School In A Small Scottish Town Will Understand

You got drunk in fields, actually enjoyed school trips, and your pals were the best.

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1. You couldn't skive off school because you'd inevitably run into your mum in town.

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And even if you didn't bump into her, you'd end up bumping into someone else and as everyone knew each other they would just tell your mum anyway.

2. Although tbh skiving school was fairly uneventful.

'Summer' days on a Scottish beach! #growingupscottish

To avoid seeing anyone you knew, you had to leave the town completely and find a bus shelter or a piece of wood to sit on until the end of the day.


6. Which meant you tried your best to avoid school dinners entirely as you got older.

Square sausage roll wae tomato sauce #GrowingUpScottish

As soon as you were old enough to walk to the shop at lunchtime, a roll and slice was the order of the day. Tomato or broon sauce optional.

7. "Yer maw" was the worst possible insult.

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Because chances are the person using it actually knew your mum, making it way more personal. So of all the playground insults (scabby, scaffy, jakey, minger), the ultimate put down always involved yer maw.

8. And country dancing was extra cringey.

Twitter: @YoorWullie

Because you'd probably end up dancing with a teacher, your sibling, a cousin, or your auntie who was a dinner lady. But hey, at least we know Strip the Willow and The Gay Gordons at every wedding we go to.


10. And you couldn't wait until you were old enough to go to the big city without your parents.

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A Saturday jaunt to Glasgow Edinburgh, or Aberdeen took a whole week of lunchtime planning with your friends, but it was definitely worth it.


14. You'd get in trouble for forgetting to bring this in.

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We had recorder lessons whether we wanted them or not. Guitar? No. Piano? Nope. Drums? Nah. It was all about butchering Three Blind Mice on the recorder. But at least you weren't that one kid at school who had to learn the bagpipes.

15. Most of your play was indoor play.

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Even hardy Scottish children weren't forced to play outdoors in torrential rain and gale force winds, meaning indoor play was a hot, stuffy, smelly regular occurrence. And if your school was small, it was even more boring.

16. Because there wasn't loads to do, you'd end up getting into every single craze around.

Remember sticker mania? FIFA, Transformers, Thundercats... it didn't really matter what it was, as long as it had a sticky backing. A Panini album was a fixture in every school bag (although few of us had the patience to fill it completely).


18. And these jotters were just begging to be defaced.

Many a dull lesson was spent colouring in the wee map on the front of the jotter, just to fill in the time until you could go back to sitting in a bus shelter.

19. You'd try (and fail) to pretend that it wasn't your birthday to avoid the dumps.

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If you didn't want to be kneed in the backside several times by every single one of your classmates, you kept your birthday on the down low, which is easier said and done when you live in a town where everyone knows each other.

20. Your dates would take place at the local chippy.

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In small Scottish towns, date options are limited. A fish supper at the local chippy with the hottie from school was always a winner.

21. And we all knew someone who either was, or who had dated, a Young Farmer.

#GrowingUpInASmallTown getting stuck behind these bad boys for sometimes more than a mile.

Who quite possibly came to school in a tractor.

22. Most importantly, going to a small town school meant all your friendships were really strong.

It was partly because you didn't have loads of pals to choose from. But you knew that even if you did, you'd still choose them to get drunk in a field with.