12 Awful Similies Written By High School Students

Lord have mercy on the millennials.

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1. "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master."

2. "The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object."

3. "He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

4. "She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up."

5. "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."

6. "She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

7. "Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."

8. "Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter."

9. "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

10. "She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword."

11. "The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon."

12. "The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium."

*Similies collected through, which were submissions to a Washington Post contest.

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