1. Frustratingly tiny samples being taken:
office culture is someone bringing in donuts and everyone for some reason refusing to take a whole one and cutting off 3/8 of the donut and then at the end of the day there's like 17/25ths of 9 different donuts left
2. Waiting on the room you booked:
When you book a room but the last meeting runs over.
3. Employer-friendly double standards:
office culture is having a panic attack when you're 30 minutes late but not noticing when you work an hour longer
4. Being respectfully condescending:
What is your favorite phrase to use in a professional clap back? Mine is "per my last email..."
5. Overreacting to having to do work:
when i am emailed for any reason whatsoever
6. Communicating from a short distance without speaking:
Office culture is weird. I have whole ass conversations with people like five feet away from me but it's all on screen.
7. Saying stuff like, "Tuesdays...":
Office culture is looking a coworker in the face and simply saying the day of the week that it is and them sighing, "I know, right?" or "tell me about it."
8. Being a productive-looking fraud:
90% of my job is squinting at my monitor when somebody walks by so it looks like I'm concentrating on some work.
9. Dealing with nosy Gmail:
this new gmail is so....um...office culture i hate it. "follow up?" "you haven't responded in 5 days." bitch, mind your business
10. Getting excited about working from home until you're working from home:
STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME - Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
11. Losing track of things:
Office culture is wondering how it is the time that it is.
12. Planting seeds for a day off:
"I feel a little off today." - Me, working on my plan for not being at work tomorrow.
13. Waiting to nuke your food at lunch:
Trying to use the office microwave for lunch anytime around noon is like the hunger games
14. Heightened expectations because of a fluke performance:
Please quit telling me to “keep up the good work” the good work was an accident and impossible to replicate
15. Blurting out things like, "Turkey sandwich!":
Office culture is now just coworkers naming the thing you’re eating out loud as they walk by.
16. Having a fwitter and finstagram for professional use:
When ya employer ask do u have a Twitter .. why yes , yes I do glad u asked 😊😌🙃
17. Pretending to be interested:
Co-workers with kids: Omg guess what? My kid did the funniest thing yesterday! Me: Oh.....really, What did it do?
18. Using days of the week to describe your mood:
Office culture is people asking how's it going and you tell them what day of the week it is
19. Multiple places to speak to the same individuals:
office culture is creating hundreds of chat groups with almost the same set of people
20. Hating work drama but loving work gossip:
me: i don't have time for workplace drama, i'm here for a paycheck also me, when my coworker says she's annoyed w someone we work with:
21. Making it clear that you're not responsible for office restroom funk:
What is the etiquette when stepping out of an office toilet that stinks, through no fault of your own, to find someone waiting to go in?
22. And finally, the struggles of trying to get a raise:
How my appraisal went this year.