1. Trader Joe's is more than a grocery store. It is a tiki/trader-themed grocery experience.
As in, "Trader" Joe travels around the world looking for delicious things...
...then sells them to you in a store decked out like an old-school tiki bar.
2. Where you'll always receive a royal welcome.
3. They sell lots of random but excellent products that you didn't know existed, but end up buying...
4. ...and then buying again every time you go.
5. You'd be surprised how fast sweet coconut snacks become essential to your very existence.
6. TJ's also carries lots of things that seem obvious in retrospect, but that somehow no one else has.
7. Admit it, you find their in-store marketing endearing.
Flying bagels would be awesome.
8. Whoever comes up with their product names should seriously consider competing at Punderdome.
9. You could probably survive on their nut butters alone.
10. AND: COOKIE BUTTER. Butter, made of GROUND COOKIES.
11. They know that good things become great things when they're covered in chocolate.
12. Potato chips, for example.
13. And bananas. Chocolate is an equal-opportunity coating at Trader Joe's.
14. Two-Buck Chuck? Game changer.
15. OK, so it's technically three bucks, but, still...
16. Big spenders, feel free to splurge on their higher-end wines.
17. Not a wino? That's cool, there's craft beer too.
18. Also, Trader Joe has awesome friends. Baker Josef, Trader José, Trader Ming...
19. Trader Joe-San, Trader Giotto, and Trader Jacques.
Actually kind of amazing that no one has called out how un-PC this is.