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18 Things That Happen When Your Blood Is Mostly Caffeine

If only they would invent caffeinated showerheads.

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1. First thing in the morning, you get a cup of coffee.

2. Next, you drink a cup of TEA.

People envy your multimodal buzz.
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People envy your multimodal buzz.

3. Your mouth will accept only liquids with temperatures over, like, 100 degrees.

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4. But if it's not hot, then it's most certainly one of these dazzlers:

5. Your job IRL is occupying the coffee machine at work.

The coffee machine at work broke so I left a note.

You use it so much you've probably broken it once, or twice, or a million times.

6. Or the tea cabinet, which you basically own.

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7. There should be one of these for you at work, fully-stocked, always.

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8. You alternate between drinks so much you can't even tell the difference.

Coffee, tea and energy drink .. Coursework hahaa

9. In fact, sometimes you drink coffee and tea TOGETHER.

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10. By now, you probably need to drink 30-plus cups of caffeinated whatever to feel even a SLIGHT buzz.

it's so weird when people are affected by caffeine. like i can have a red eye and fall asleep not kidding my tolerance is so high its gross.

11. You've made your cup so many times your hands know exactly how much cream and sugar they should add.

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12. Or you're a purist and you drink everything ~unpolluted~.

I only drink black coffee. Batman don't sugar-coat anything.

Espresso straight up, amiright?!

13. Cafés are your secondary homes because they provide everything you could possibly need.

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14. But your house is also overrun with mugs.

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Some with moldy tea bags, moldy coffee milk — you get the gist.

15. You drink so much that you've started washing your mugs with your tongue.

#GoodManners: The noise you don't make when you're drinking tea or eating soup in polite company.

16. You've probably thought about using one of these guys to brew some last-minute coffee.

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But no, this is a terrible idea you've come to realize.

17. Your palate is so well developed you can actually taste the concentration of caffeine in your drinks.

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18. Noncaffeinated liquids? Please pour that shit down the drain.

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