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16 Online Dating Hacks That Are Clever But Rude

We should all set our profile pictures to trees. All confessions courtesy of Whisper.

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1. Trick them with a dog that's not even yours:

Or just photoshop one! Nobody swipes for sincerity!!

Or just photoshop one! Nobody swipes for sincerity!!

2. Act like you DID hook up (although I'm 90% certain they'll see through your bluff):

Lying upfront is probably not the best way to initiate an honest relationship, but maybe you'll justify it later by going on a ridiculously fun date you said had happened before.

3. Fantasize about your date, and by date, I mean BUCKET LIST:

Become a tree. Eat bark. Grow extra limbs:

Or just reincarnate yourself and hope for better luck next time.

Or just reincarnate yourself and hope for better luck next time.

4. Master the “i’m available but unattainable” look with a professional photoshoot:

5. Don’t text, do ~research:~

Googling public info about prospective dates is pretty much fair game these days. But maybe you should text them and get to know them gradually.

6. Count on the chance that your date has better-looking friends:

7. Use words that are probably too big for you:

A dictionary lesson for both of you!

8. FREE FOOD (and antiquated dating norms):

9. Make multiple profiles and see which one wins:

Whether or not this is deceptive, at least it increases your chances in the stacks.

10. Raise you age limit:

You never know what might work out!

11. If you see a car, delete the app:

Throw your phone out the window. Hit a car. RUN.

12. Use your “unflattering” pictures because if they're into those, they'll be blown away later:

Of course, your unflattering pics will also be the most flattering pics to those who end up genuinely liking you.

13. Supersize your ego:

14. Get your friends to stop nagging you:

And then fabricate stories about your dates. Way more fun!

15. And finally, switch your default swipe to the right.

Reject rejection!!! Make Tinder unworthy of our pursuit.

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