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12 Things Your Work Colleagues Say Vs What They Actually Mean

Common office lingo translated to mean something entirely different...

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1. "I just wanted to follow up on..."Meaning: Why the hell have you not replied to my emails?2. "Let's take this offline"Meaning: If I have to listen to you for one more second I'll end my life right here, right now.3. "I know you're really busy but…"Meaning: You're not busy and you're not important. Stop ignoring me.4. "Anyone fancy a cuppa?"Meaning: Unless you're the two people sitting directly next to me, piss off. 5. "Do you have a second?"Meaning: We both know you have a second.6. "I just wanted to reach out to you…"Meaning: I'm a twat.7. "I've got a doctor's appointment in the morning"Meaning: I'm staying in bed and watching Netflix tomorrow morning, suckers.8. "Sorry I'm at full capacity"Meaning: Hell will freeze over before I help you out. 9. "We've got our team away day next week"Meaning: I don't want to see you outside of work either but let's pretend we like each other for one day.10. "I need this by close of play"Meaning: I'm not capable of telling the time. 11. "Could you put that in an email?"Meaning: I'm never going to read your email. 12. "Nice to e-meet you!"Meaning: I'm a twat.
BBC / Via bbc.co.uk

1. "I just wanted to follow up on..."

Meaning: Why the hell have you not replied to my emails?

2. "Let's take this offline"

Meaning: If I have to listen to you for one more second I'll end my life right here, right now.

3. "I know you're really busy but…"

Meaning: You're not busy and you're not important. Stop ignoring me.

4. "Anyone fancy a cuppa?"

Meaning: Unless you're the two people sitting directly next to me, piss off.

5. "Do you have a second?"

Meaning: We both know you have a second.

6. "I just wanted to reach out to you…"

Meaning: I'm a twat.

7. "I've got a doctor's appointment in the morning"

Meaning: I'm staying in bed and watching Netflix tomorrow morning, suckers.

8. "Sorry I'm at full capacity"

Meaning: Hell will freeze over before I help you out.

9. "We've got our team away day next week"

Meaning: I don't want to see you outside of work either but let's pretend we like each other for one day.

10. "I need this by close of play"

Meaning: I'm not capable of telling the time.

11. "Could you put that in an email?"

Meaning: I'm never going to read your email.

12. "Nice to e-meet you!"

Meaning: I'm a twat.

giphy / Via giphy.com
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