Entertainment

America Finally Got An Episode Of “Bern Your Enthusiasm” On “SNL”

“I am running for president. I do not shake disgusting hands.”

1. Saturday Night Live gave everyone the Bernie Sanders-themed episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm they’ve been waiting for: Bern Your Enthusiasm.

Larry David’s own neurotic tendencies morphed into those of presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders — and ultimately cost him the election in the sketch.

The campaign’s demise began when David — err, Sanders — refused to shake a woman’s hand after she coughed into it.

3. “You coughed into your hand, I won’t shake after a cough!”

The woman, played by Leslie Jones, isn’t having it, but Sanders doesn’t care.

“I am running for president. I do not shake disgusting hands.”

Back at the campaign office, Mr. Hopefully President wants coffee with whole milk, but is only offered 2% milk.

5. “2%? No. If I’m going to have milk I’ll have milk thank you very much.”

6. Fan favorite Leon then rushes out to scold Sanders for not shaking the hand of the coughing woman — who happened to be black.

“Bernie fuckin’ Sanders!” Leon shouts.

7. “You need the black vote Bernie!” Leon says. “You need to shake as many black women’s hands as you can. I don’t care if the hand got dookie on ‘em.”

At the coffee shop, he sees a woman crash her car into a pole.

“Are you Bernie Sanders? I was just on my way to vote for you,” the woman says. But then she asks him to pop her shoulder back into place so she can go vote.

In typical Larry David style, he won’t do it.

9. “Go to the hospital! I’m not a popper,” he says as he backs away. “I’m from Brooklyn, we don’t pop in Brooklyn, I’m sorry.”

Back again at campaign headquarters, sans coffee, the voting numbers are in. He lost by .2%.

“Hey you, fuckin’ four eyes!” Susie shouts. “Look at the TV, you didn’t win, you lost.”

“.2 percent? What?” Sanders asks. “How many people is that?”

11. And there they are on the screen: The coughing woman, her friends, and the voter with a dislocated shoulder. (Cue theme song music)

Coulda, shoulda, woulda. #BernYourEnthusiasm https://t.co/QHUWQZgPAK

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl)

12. Welp.

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