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Why Is Selena Gomez So Ashamed Of Her Giant Birthday Brownie?

Pause the birthday Selebrations.

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So how does a pop legend and a Barney & Friends alum celebrate 23 years of slaying the entire human existence? IN LONDON WITH A GIANT FUCKING BROWNIE, THAT'S HOW.

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Everyone knows when there's a giant fucking brownie in front of your face, you make eye contact with the giant fucking brownie.

Let's figure this out so we can go back to Selebrating. Why do you think Selena has her hand over her face? Does it have anything to do with the giant fucking brownie?

  1. The heart didn't want a giant fucking brownie.
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but not with a tiny scoop of vanilla ice cream on it.
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but the flame was too bright for the songstress' delicate eyes.
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but the stomach just cut out giant fucking brownies from its diet.
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but they wrote "Selena" instead of "Selegend" in the chocolate writing around the giant fucking brownie.
    It had nothing to do with the giant fucking brownie — she realized in this moment she can no longer honestly jam out to Taylor's "22."

Why Is Selena Gomez So Ashamed Of Her Giant Birthday Brownie?

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  1.  
    vote votes
    The heart didn't want a giant fucking brownie.
  2.  
    vote votes
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but not with a tiny scoop of vanilla ice cream on it.
  3.  
    vote votes
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but the flame was too bright for the songstress' delicate eyes.
  4.  
    vote votes
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but the stomach just cut out giant fucking brownies from its diet.
  5.  
    vote votes
    The heart wanted a giant fucking brownie, but they wrote "Selena" instead of "Selegend" in the chocolate writing around the giant fucking brownie.
  6.  
    vote votes
    It had nothing to do with the giant fucking brownie — she realized in this moment she can no longer honestly jam out to Taylor's "22."

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