Hi. I belong to the .0001% of the population who has never seen a movie in The Hunger Games series or read one of the books. Partially because the series just sounds like it would stress me out, but mainly because my ex really enjoyed them.
HOWEVER, I am typically hungry and I like games (Jenga, Connect Four, Slapjack, etc.) so imma use this background to help me piece together what's happening to JLaw and co. in the trailer for the upcoming movie Mockingjay Part 2.
The trailer starts off with a v. pretty and contemporary wedding — like a wedding you'd only see on Pinterest.
The couple getting married must be a pretty big deal because there's like a lot of people there. No one looks hungry and no one is playing games, so IDK what that's about.
People are like really stoked these two are getting married. I mean, I think there's even a crew recording it all? Maybe they're on a reality show? Like MTV's Newlyweds? IDK.
Oh, and I guess Julianne Moore and Philip Seymour Hoffman are in this movie too. WHO KNEW.
Anyways, the bride and groom kiss and then everyone starts to turn up and dance like they're at a 1700s ball. Does this movie take place in the 1700s? Fuck if I know.
The trailer then ditches the wedding and cuts to JLaw and some Anna Wintour-type woman rockin' some lampshade realness.
I think they're just checkin' out their lewks in the mirror...? Like they're actin' like my ladies and I do before we take the town. Maybe they're about to have a "girls night out"? Either way, JLaw looks like she's not feelin' her lewk and I agree.
Suddenly, JLaw is somewhere new and is all like "Snow has to pay for what he's done." Maybe Snow is the designer that dressed her in that awf black outfit?
Some random guy mentions a war coming to an end. So I guess these people are in the middle of war...
... maybe cuz they're trynna find this lady's eyebrows? I'd start a war if someone ever stole my brows tbh.
Meanwhile, some guy with like a really nice beard is having what appears to be a Goop.com dinner party. It's hella chic and pure fashun around the table. I think this is that Snow guy who dressed JLaw in that trahj outfit? He seems to give no fucks.
All of the sudden, JLaw is rocking that black outfit with CON👏FI👏DENCE👏 She's now equipped with a bow and arrow and is looking phresh as one can in shoulder pads. Maybe she's coming to crash that Snow guy's dinner party to demand a new look 4 tonight?
The trailer then shows her and Josh Hutcherson hugging so I think he's her gay friend who's trying to console her and downplay how ugly that outfit really is? IDK.
Now JLaw is trynna cover up that black ensemble with some green cape with an attached hood. It's ugly AF but at least she can conceal her identity in this and not trash her brand. I don't blame her.
OH hi Liam... FOR ONLY LIKE .69 SECONDS.
NOW THE WHITE BEARDED MAN IS BACK. He tells JLaw, "Make no mistake, the game never... [something I couldn't decipher]." So I'm assuming he's just going to keep playing games and not give JLaw a new look 4 tonight?
Then this black wave of gunk starts coming after JLaw and a bunch of other people dressed in those terrible black outfits. Maybe this town has a sewage problem?
I'm starting to think this isn't a romcom anymore....