Cinderella's Fairy Godmother Was Actually The Worst

Bibbidi-bobbidi-flop.

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Cinderella has no fucking CLUE who this woman is, which is a little surprising because aren't Fairy Godmothers supposed to protect you your whole life? ESPECIALLY those who have lived a life like Cinderella?

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Like both of her parents are D E A D as fuck and she's a servant to her wicked stepmother. HELLO FAIRY GODMOTHER— THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU COME IN.

After retracing her steps, she ends up finding her wand, and thinks, HMMM YOU KNOW WHAT CINDY NEEDS? SHE NEEDS A CARRIAGE MADE OUT OF A FUCKING PUMPKIN.

After she uses her limitless sorcery to make a carriage OUT OF A PUMPKIN, she decides it should be pulled by MICE TURNED INTO HORSES.

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Because why would you make this magic pumpkin carriage fly? THAT WOULD BE SILLY.

... And during all of this, there was LITERALLY a horse right next to her that she could have just made into a better, prettier horse to pull the carriage.

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Horse-mice that have never been bigger than a few inches UNTIL NOW is a MUCH better option, obviously.

Yeah, Fairy Godmother, LET'S PUT A HORSE-HUMAN IN CHARGE OF MICE-HORSES TO GET CINDERELLA TO THE BALL SAFELY. THIS WILL END WELL.

But most importantly, let's NOT forget that this "Godmother" was about to PEACE OUT until Cindy was all like, "WHAT ABOUT MY DRESS, BITCH?!?!?!?!"

And then, to make it all just a TOTAL FLOPPAGE, this WORTHLESS fairy decides to put A TIME LIMIT on everything and is basically like, "TAKE BACKSIES AT MIDNIGHT!"

So let's just collect our thoughts here for a second:

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This "Fairy Godmother," whose whole purpose in life is to make Cinderella happy, showed up for the first time EVER in NINETEEN YEARS to spoil her with materialistic things, FOR A FUCKING DANCE, and it will all only last for a few hours? YOU GAVE THIS POOR ORPHAN HAPPINESS THAT WILL LAST SHORTER THAN A LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIE?

OK AWESOME — THANKS FAIRY GODMOTHER!!! XOXOOXOXOXOXO

REALLY FGM???????????????????????????????????

WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE GOTTEN THE PROPER GLASS SLIPPER SIZE FOR CINDERELLA? HUH, FAIRY FUCKIN' GODDAMNMOTHER!! ! ! ~! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!

Disney / Christian Zamora / BuzzFeed

Like poor Cinderella must have been stumblin' ALL NIGHT.

Because I mean, Cinderella went through a lot worse than not being able to go to the ball...

I'm sorry homefairy, but you could have bibbibi-bobbidi-booped Cinderella a better life A LONG ASS TIME before you actually did. And because of that, you are the ABSOLUTE WORST Fairy Godmother to have ever existed.