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15 Times You’ll Be Reborn During Britney's Revamped "Piece Of Me” Show

I went to Britney Spears' remixed "Piece Of Me" show in Las Vegas. It was life-ending.

Genesisney 1:1 — In the beginning (December 27, 2013), planet Earth legend Britney Spears derailed the heteronormativity of Las Vegas by bringing a non-stop 90 minute soul-rejuvenating show called "Piece Of Me" to Planet Hollywood.

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Gays, straights, and even Katy Perrys all rushed to see their maker perform live while the show boosted Las Vegas' economy and saved Planet Hollywood from flopping. Vegas was now a homosexual.

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After a brief hiatus to give J.Lo a stage to perform on, the Spearitual entity relaunched her show in February 2016 with new costumes, new songs, and new props as a way to keep Vegas cool. The queen of comebacks struck again.

As the responsible human that I am living during the same time as Britney, I made the pilgrimage to "Piece Of Me" on February 20th, 2016.

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From my life-ending experience, these are the times you will be reborn during Britney's revamped show:

1. When she appropriately starts the sacrament meeting on a throne...

2. ...And slaughters every movement in "Work Bitch" while preaching the importance of a good work ethic.

3. When she goes hard during the "Womanizer" dance break and anoints the floor with her dripping sweat.

4. When she steps out in the new "Me Against The Music" outfit to show off her toned (MOTHER OF TWO) body...

5. ...Only to leave you crippled in your seat after whipping out original choreography from 2003.

6. AND THEN AGAIN WITH THE ORIGINAL "SLAVE" CHOREO FROM 15 YEARS AGO.

7. When she whips and thrusts on top of a GIANT FUCKING GUITAR THAT SHOOTS FIREWORKS during "I Love Rock N' Roll."

8. When she gives her most sacred hymn "Gimme More" the performance that'll make you realize how far she has actually come...

9. When she whips out gymnastics during "Touch Of My Hand"...

10. ...And does that classic Britney twirl like it's 1999 all over again.

11. When she performs "Breathe On Me" for the first time in years...

12. ...And puts her lips together and blows some sort of sanctifying dust into the audience.

13. When she randomly dances to Missy like she's one of us, even though we know she's Godney.

14. When she hits the floor during "Toxic" and you're pretty sure you're experiencing the afterlife.

15. And when she closes the show with "Till The World Ends" as you think about how the world actually could end and it wouldn't matter to you because you just saw BRITNEY SPEARS perform during her new prime LIVE.

Support legends and see 2016ney while you still can.

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