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21 Secrets Everyone With A Sweet Tooth Won’t Tell You

Let's be honest, you just have sweet "teeth."

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1. You were the LEGEND who stole the damn cookies from the cookie jar.

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AND IT WAS THE GREATEST HEIST IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

2. It's hard for you to have a healthy relationship with someone because pie is your bae.

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MOM UOENO.

3. You're pretty damn jealous of all those little elves that get to make cookies in a tree all day.

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Elves have it so fucking good.

4. You've tried EVERY new Oreo flavor.

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With no regrets.

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5. Your rite of passage is traveling to this mythical ATM at the proper age of 18.

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Or literally whenever you can make it to LA.

6. You've considered having kids just so they could get you free candy on Halloween.

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Because obviously.

7. You have a weakness for any product that's dessert flavored.

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GET ON MY LIPS.

8. You've never successfully baked a batch of cookies before.

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Because you usually just eat all of the dough.

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9. The words "sugar free" are EXTREMELY derogatory.

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Did you literally just say that to my face?

10. You're totally down to name your first born Samoa.

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Out of respect.

11. Easter is your favorite holiday only because:

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I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU.

12. You only eat other foods to get to the dessert portion of the meal.

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I ate my entire salad. I DESERVE this dessert.

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13. Frapps are the foundation of your entire life.

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H2whitecholatemOcha

14. You've bought yourself cake for your own birthday.

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ALL FOR ME. MWAHAHA.

15. You've convinced yourself that your dentist is out to ruin your beautifully unhealthy relationship with sweets.

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WE LOVE EACH OTHER, DAMMIT.

16. Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chips are the main reason you have trust issues.

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You bitch.

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17. Your Instagram has more photos of sweets than you or any of your friends.

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You've traveled the world together.

18. You go to wedding receptions just to eat the cake.

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And you gasp when the couple wastes it by smearing it all over their faces.

19. The price of your frozen yogurt comes close to a down payment on house after it's weighed.

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WORTH IT.

20. You can't help but constantly think of ways the world would be a better place if it was ran by sweet tooths.

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COULD YOU IMAGINE?

21. But when it comes down to it:

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BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU?