6. The "If U Seek Amy" Ritzy Orgy:
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You know, the "If U Seek Amy" orgy looked *insert volcano dripping of cum emoji*. It felt like a first-class orgy where diamond-studded dildos were slung and poppers were called by its French name. But this orgy isn't at the top of the list because we missed it. Everyone was wiped off, all of the boys and all of the girls were passed out from their begging, and Britney was getting back to her seemingly perfect pie-making Stepford Wives lifestyle. (Flawless video tho.)
5. The "Womanizer" Restaurant Orgy:
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Lollipop. The "Womanizer" restaurant orgy was classic Britney.... if classic Britney was into vanilla sex. The single was instrumental to the success of the early second-half of her career — it was dubbed the "comeback" after YOU-KNOW-WHAT. The single proved Britney wasn't going anywhere, but the video's AC-a-pumpin' restaurant orgy didn't add much to Brit's orgyography. Despite the insanely hot womanizing lead, the "Womanizer" orgy feels second-rate compared to Brit’s orgies of past. BUT DAMN BRIT LOOKS GOOD.
4. The "Till The World Ends" Underground Orgy:
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The Femme Fatale-era was loaded for hits with Britney, including one of her more recent notable smashas, "Till The World Ends." Even though the song's gritty dance orgy looks sexy, Britney hated shooting this music video because the LA underground meat plant they filmed it in (yes, a meat plant) smelt like "poop," which might be part of the reason Britney looks like she's not fully into the thrusting woah-oh-oh-oh-oh's around her. But you know what? If the world was coming to an end, this underground orgy in the city sewers would be the way to go out.
3. The "Work Bitch" Las Vegas Orgy:
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I would've wiped my memory clean of the literally glitchy Britney Jean-era if it weren't for everyiconicthing about "Work Bitch" (OK and "Alien," "Perfume," and "Hold On Tight"). ANYGAY, this music video kicked off the Vegas-era Britney, which turned out to be more of a "return" of Britney than the Circus or Femme Fatale-era tried to convince the general public of. Complete with whips, chains, and Beats by Dre mouth-gags, this was one sexy mommy bitch orgy that worked it hard like it was its profession.
2. The "Slumber Party" Mansion/Color Run Orgy
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OMG. STILL SHOOK. "Slumber Party" is Britney's best video since — dare I gay — "TOXIC"??? The first visual from Britney's life-changing ninth studio album Glory (I'm not counting that video) delivered on every level. TBH, THIS IS WHAT I ENVISIONED A 34-YEAR-OLD BRITNEY TO GO AND DO.
Anyway, the masion-rave-sex-masquerade orgy (feat. Tinashe) is what I imagine the orgy that precluded "If U Seek Amy" was serving before the lights came on. Complete with her hottest male video-lead to-date (seriously, his Instagram will trap you with his muscles) and newly-iconic choreo, "Slumber Party" is the latest and brightest jewel in Britney's orgy crown.
Honorable mention — the scrapped "Make Me" video:
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Because even Britney wasn't safe from 2016's destructive narrative, the Queen's utterly perfect melodic mid-tempo "Make Me" had something sensational planned for its music video (red body paint, cages, drowning, leopards, pole dancing, tractors) but for unexplained reasons (OR BECAUSE ORANGE THEORY WASN'T THRILLED WITH THE SEXUAL THEMES), the video was scrapped for a panned Hannah Montana-esque visual. But because gays run the internet, clips of the original "Make Me" video leaked online and unfortunately, a could've-been list-topping ogry was thrown away like a used condom with the rest of the video.
RIP.
1. The "Slave 4 U" O.G. (Original Orgy):
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YA'LL THIS SHOULDN'T BE A SURPRISE. The "Slave 4 U" video is one of Britney's biggest visuals to-date and spawned a even bigg-ah live performance at the 2001 VMAs. This video was basically Britney dowsing her career in sweat-infused gasoline and lighting it on fire with choreographed body friction. And in the middle of it all? One steamy orgy that paved the way for the rest of Britney's career and public perception.
Living legend — you can look but don't touch.
It's Britney Day, bitch. In honor of the legendary queen of pop's 35th birthday, BuzzFeed is celebrating with all things Britney Jean Spears. Check out more content on this legendary ICON here and buy Glory on iTunes!
