...But there's ~something~ about his abs that even the most thirsty of civilians may not have realized — THEY'RE LOPSIDED.
Don't see it? Look where these red arrows are pointing — Chris's right set of abs are higher than his left side of abs.
I KNOW, RIGHT?! THE DRAMA.
In this image still from Guardians of the Galaxy, I've numbered Chris's abs. You can CLEARLY see ab No. 1 is higher than its neighboring ab, ab No. 2. The same pattern follows with the rest of his abs. AKA THEY'RE UNEVEN.
STILL DON'T SEE IT?
Here is a godly picture of a shirtless Zac Efron. As you can see with this superimposed ruler, Zac's abs are horizontal from each other.
The same thing cannot be said with Chris's abs upon the ruler test.
BUT WHATEVER. CHRIS'S LOPSIDED ABS ONLY MAKE HIM THAT MUCH CUTER AND ENDEARING AND SWEET AND QUIRKY. 😍