1. You've been living in fear of the blue-masked men and women ever since you were little.
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And it will continue the rest of your life.
2. Most of your nightmares start like this.
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WAKE UP! WAKE THE FUCK UP!
3. The smell of latex gloves immediately gives you anxiety.
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Do you really gotta stick that glove in my mouth?
4. You think about what you're going to leave in your will every time they wrap that napkin around your neck.
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It was a good life.
5. You hate it when your dentist asks how often you floss.
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Because they know damn well it's not very often.
6. You've accidentally bit the dentist before out of defense.
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QUIT YOUR STABBIN!
7. The waiting room is literally purgatory.
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Bout to go to hell.
8. You’re constantly making up excuses for getting out of your dentist appointments.
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SRY MAYBE NEXT TIME.
9. But then your insurance is all like, "You have to go twice a year or we'll drop yo ass."
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Who are you? My mom?!?
10. The sight of their demon tools sends immediate pain to your mouth.
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It just hurts looking at them.
11. Laughing gas is ANYTHING but a laughing matter.
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No turning back now.
12. When they ask if you want cinnamon or mint toothpaste you say neither and try to run away.
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I WANT MY MOM.
13. You have a completely RATIONAL fear that they're all plotting against you.
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I'M ON TO YOU.
14. Nothing on the TV could ever make Hell enjoyable for you.
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Stop trying to distract me from your torture.
15. They ALWAYS have to use the jaws of life to open your mouth because you refuse to "open wide."
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You win this time.
16. You refuse to accept the fact you have wisdom teeth and that they NEED to come out.
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Do they actually have to come out?
17. You need someone to come with you because you NEED a hand to hold.
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Probably your mom's.
18. The mere thought of putting YOUR fingers into someone else's mouth — like a dentist does — also freaks you out.
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Besides the idea of that hefty salary, of course.
19. You absolutely hate it when they try to talk to you while they're drilling your mouth.
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Like you know DAMN WELL I can't talk right now.
20. You wear your retainers more than you have to just to prevent future visits with your dentist.
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Doing WHATEVER IT TAKES to stay away from here.
21. But no matter how much you hate the dentist, at least you know you're not alone.
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Sorry Dr. Willis, nothing personal.