So you're a really hairy person.
Because you were a toddler when you bought your first razor.
Your elementary school pictures always featured that all-too-familiar unibrow.
And when you were in middle school, you were your own Chia Pet.
BECAUSE YOU'RE A REALLY HAIRY PERSON.
As you got older, you thought it would get better.
And as your friends became sexually active...
But you hoped someone out there wouldn't mind shacking up with a rug.
And the hair would be some sort of kinky turn on.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH OF IT.
It's like every day someone has to remind you of the monkey on your back.
Like you aren't already aware of the situation every time you look at your watch.
And you need at least a week to prepare for a bathing suit.
Because those endless cycles of exfoliating and shaving weren’t going to happen by themselves.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH HAIR.
To combat the situation, you've tried ALL the different kinds of hair removal.
So you thought you'd try laser hair removal.
So you moved onto hair threading.
So you had to settle with Nair.
ALL BECAUSE YOU'RE A REALLY HAIRY PERSON.
But at the end of the day, you should be proud of it.
So here's to no more crying on summer days.
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