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The Struggles Of Closeted Evangelical Christian Gay Boys In The '90s

We may have been born this way, but we were also born to Evangelical Christian families. The closeted struggle was real.

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You probably joined the drama team at church.

Heaven's Gates & Hells Flames / Via realityoutreach.org

Yes, a walking cliche. But how else will the church put on a FABULOUS production of Heaven's Gates & Hell's Flames without you? Unless there was a lock-in or youth group carwash that weekend.

After all, they had some jams.

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youtube.com / Via youtube.com

Like "Written On My Heart" or "Last Flight Out"

You wanted to sing an Amy Grant song during the offering.

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youtube.com / Via youtu.be

Whether you could sing or not. Of course, "Baby, Baby" was out of the question, that was from her "secular" album. And there was so much controversy about that! But she wrote "Thy Word" which was in the friggin' Praise & Worship Songbook so you were allowed to sneak some "Every Heartbeat" onto your mix tapes. Maybe.

You knew from early on that being gay was a sin.

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Youtube / Via youtu.be

Your pastor probably preached a sermon about it. And your mom heard it from Focus On The Family or the Family Research Council. Your youth group probably discussed it along with the evils of alcohol and secular rock music. There was probably a few books about it in the church library. You knew.

You may have secretly wanted to go to reparative therapy camp.

reddit.com / Via reddit.com

Mostly to meet other gay kids and maybe have se... I mean, help them in their carnal struggles. All night, if need be.

But you couldn't contemplate suicide.

The Trevor Project / Via theinspirationroom.com

Because that's a sin, too! Also: a permanent solution to temporary problem. But mostly A SIN! But you probably considered it anyway. (I know, way to bring the party down.)

Or maybe you danced around the issue...

Tim Davis / Via google.com

...with some discussion of the theory that the Apostle Paul's "thorn in the flesh" was homosexuality that he wouldn't act on. Or, if you went really deep, dropped mention that the centurion's "servant" Jesus healed in Luke 7 was a mistranslation of the Greek word. It actually could mean "male lover." But no mention of your own "thorn in the flesh"... wink, wink.

...rejoiced when someone tells you that you can be both gay and Christian...

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Larry King Live / Via youtu.be

Like your favorite Christian singer/songwriter Jennifer Knapp.

Or maybe you don't go to church anymore...

...that's ok, too.

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