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I Wore Food On My Face Instead Of Makeup To See If Anyone Would Notice

Just call me Skittle cheeks. (JK, don't. Ever.)

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Look, I love junk food. I also love makeup. So I tried to combine the two ~without anyone noticing~ because I am a secret freak like dat.

And, yes, I am fully aware you can dye your skin with beautiful, earthy things like raspberries, blueberries, and beets, but my favorite food is Doritos so that shit ain't for me.

But first, A BIG FAT DISCLAIMER: Your skin can become really irritated or even develop an allergic reaction if you put random-ass food on your face, so ask a dermatologist or test it on a patch of skin first.

Also, never, ever put food near your eyes, even if it looks hella enticing. (I see you, Oreo mascara.)

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First up, the rice flour "foundation."

Why I chose rice flour: IDK, it seemed the most like loose powder and kiiind of matched my skin tone?

How it compares to real makeup: This shit gets everywhere, and as a person who wears black twenty-four-sevs, half of it was on my boobs before I finished. Also the granules are a lot coarser than traditional makeup, so up close it kind of looked like my face had dandruff. CHIC.

Oh god, Skittles as blush.

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

Why I chose Skittles: Someone in the BuzzFeed office told me how women in prison use Skittles to dye their lips, so I fully trusted them and thought, Oh, let me put that all over my face!

How it compares to real makeup: Um, if you want no control and dyed hands after you apply your blush, then this is for you! But seriously, that artificial red dye does NOT want to blend.

Hot chocolate bronzer tiiime.

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

Why I chose hot chocolate: Michelle Phan did a hot chocolate bronzer tutorial 100 years ago, and she didn't die.

How it compares to real makeup: Dudes, this legit worked and helped blend my Skittles mess from earlier. U cool, Swiss Miss.

Mmm, chocolate pudding eyebrows.

Why I chose chocolate pudding: Well, as a person who has dark brown hair, I needed something dark that would also give me that brow gel-like control. Nutella might've also worked, but I'll never know since I ate it.

How it compares to real makeup: I used an angled eyebrow brush to give me that ~precision~, and if you're realllly patient, you can actually get this to work. After it dries you might have to pick away some chocolate bits, but it's worth it to feel like a bo$$-a$$ bitch walking around with puddin' brows all day.

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Blow Pop lip gloss, y'all.

Why I chose a Blow Pop: Uhhh, you can't not get a Blow Pop to stain your lips, so I figured it would work.*

How it compares to real makeup: It gave a great glossy lip, but it didn't give me that pop (heh) of color I wanted.

*I'm not gonna show you how because I don't want to end up on some freaky-ass site.

Next, the Jell-O lip stain.

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

Why I chose Jell-O: Honestly, I thought the Blow Pop would work on its own, but I realized I wanted something brighter, so the powder (in the brightest color — cherry!) seemed like a good option.

How it compares to real makeup: Typically you can just use makeup, you know, right out of the compact, but this Jell-O gelatin powder you have to put a cup and mix with a little bit of water to get it going. I stirred it a bit, dipped my lip brush in, and just started painting it on. My eye popped a blood vessel in sheer excitement of it actually working.

The final look + Life Savers.

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

I did add quite a bit of rice flour in between layers to soften the Skittles dye because it looked insane. Also, since I didn't want to tote around Jell-O dust, I bought a pack of Life Savers to reapply my "lipstick" throughout the day.

Before I left the house, my boyfriend refused to kiss me.

He watched the whole thing go down, so when I went in for a goodbye kiss, he quickly dodged my face and said, "I don't want any Skittle juice on me."

At work, my co-workers could actually smell the sugar on me, but mostly no one noticed.

One person said, "You smell really sweet!" but otherwise no one cared. I also might just not have any real friends. Either way, I was afraid to smile all day because my puddin' brows might crack — they were rock hard at this point — so maybe I'm the rude one.

After lunch, I needed to reapply my ~lipstick~.

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

Can you even tell I'm wearing makeup anymore? I think I sweat it all off, but I never turn down a chance to rub sugar on my mouth.

After work, my puddin' brows became immortalized.

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

It just so happened the day I wore food on my face was also the day I took my driver's license picture, LOLLLL. Guess I'll have to live with this bad decision for the next five years!

Final thoughts!

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

Look, I know nobody will actually do this IRL because it's way more work than it's worth (and kind of gross, TBH), but if you do find yourself stranded without makeup/the apocalypse happens and you didn't die and wanted to use your scarce food (which happens to be a pudding cup?) as eyebrow gel, this might be sorta useful. Otherwise, I don't suggest smearing Skittles on your face anytime soon.

Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

Look, I know nobody will actually do this IRL because it's way more work than it's worth (and kind of gross, TBH), but if you do find yourself stranded without makeup/the apocalypse happens and you didn't die and wanted to use your scarce food (which happens to be a pudding cup?) as eyebrow gel, this might be sorta useful. Otherwise, I don't suggest smearing Skittles on your face anytime soon.

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Chrissy Mahlmeister/BuzzFeed

Look, I know nobody will actually do this IRL because it's way more work than it's worth (and kind of gross, TBH), but if you do find yourself stranded without makeup/the apocalypse happens and you didn't die and wanted to use your scarce food (which happens to be a pudding cup?) as eyebrow gel, this might be sorta useful. Otherwise, I don't suggest smearing Skittles on your face anytime soon.

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