The 100 Rudest Fucking Things Australians Say

    A definitive ranking of our dirtiest words.

    Chris Rodley
    by Chris Rodley

    BuzzFeed Contributor

    100.

    Tom Brandt (modified) / Flickr: 12567713@N00 / creativecommons.org

    Early in the morning.

    99.

    16:9clue / Flickr: 53255320@N07 / creativecommons.org

    A cheeky way to say "eggs".

    98.

    Thinkstock

    "Bloody hell, Nicole! Can't believe you gave him a wristie on the first date!"

    97.

    Thinkstock

    A term of endearment. "How've you been, you old bastard?"

    96.

    Flickr: paul_clarke / creativecommons.org

    What your nan says when her pavlova sinks.

    95.

    Flickr: bionicteaching / creativecommons.org

    Your teacher called you this if you were carrying on like a pork chop.

    94.

    Thinkstock

    "Why are you on compo?"

    "I slipped on a hot chip at Oporto and went arse over tit."

    93.

    Thinkstock

    "Did you pass your L's?"

    "Piece of piss, brah."

    92.

    Miramax Films

    Your dad's way of saying "fuckwit".

    "Who's the dropkick who left the Kreepy Krauly running all long weekend?"

    91.

    Flickr: jganderson / creativecommons.org

    "Why I Stuck A Cracker Up My Clacker"

    – NT News headline

    90.

    Reverendlukewarm / Via Flickr: reverendlukewarm

    "Callum, stop pissfarting around and do ya homework."

    89.

    Mr Stan Zemanek / en.wikipedia.org / creativecommons.org

    What you used to call the ginger kid in Miss Donoghue's third-grade class.

    88.

    Flickr: drainrat / creativecommons.org

    "I'm in the poo with me missus cos I cancelled our Chrisco hamper."

    87.

    Flickr: dfarrell07 / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "ugly". Other options include "face like a dropped pie" and "head like a chewed Mintie".

    86.

    Flickr: puuikibeach / creativecommons.org

    When "face like a sucked mango" isn't harsh enough.

    85.

    Flickr: russellstreet / creativecommons.org

    When you've got a face like a sucked mango, but a hot body.

    84.

    Flickr: htakashi / creativecommons.org

    "Been watching reruns of Huey's Cooking Adventures all day. I'm bored shitless."

    83.

    Thinkstock

    "Why'd they stop making Milo bars?"

    "Beats the shit outta me."

    82.

    Flickr: krossbow / creativecommons.org

    A moderately rude way to say "scared AF".

    81.

    Flickr: sebilden / creativecommons.org

    Your Aunty Beverly says this when next door's cat tries to shit in her garden.

    80.

    Thinkstock

    "Steve's such a tightarse. Whenever we go to Hog's Breath Café he only orders sides."

    79.

    Amy Stephenson / Flickr: 24013072@N05 / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "I beg to differ".

    78.

    Flickr: hate / creativecommons.org

    "Brb I'm going to snap off a grogan." (Via answers.com)

    77.

    Flickr: didierbaertschiger / creativecommons.org

    "Better pissbolt down the bottle-o for another slab. It's almost 10 o'clock."

    76.

    Flickr: robynlou8 / creativecommons.org

    "I got into a big fight with Jenna cos she called Anthony Callea a shortarse."

    75.

    Network Ten

    Slang for "anus", due to its visual similarity to the rings used in the popular outdoor game.

    "You'll get a good kick up the coit if you're not careful."

    74.

    shop.australiangeographic.com.au

    How you said "fuck off" when you were in primary school.

    73.

    Seven Network

    Pretty much the rudest thing Alf Stewart says on Home and Away.

    72.

    Flickr: x_xoxo / creativecommons.org

    Flashing your anus at someone. Chucking a browneye on the bus during school excursions is an Australian rite of passage.

    71.

    Flickr: anaru / Via creativecommons.org

    "Been on the blower with Telstra for nearly an hour. It's like pushing shit uphill."

    70.

    Flickr: jasonparis / creativecommons.org

    To defecate. You can also "hang a piss".

    69.

    Brandon Blikenburg / en.wikipedia.org / creativecommons.org

    "Some arsewipe broke into our house and stole my Xbox."

    68.

    Prathyush Thomas / Via en.wikipedia.org

    If you say this while giving the finger, it makes it 25% ruder.

    67.

    Lupita ala / Flickr: 75691612@N08 / creativecommons.org

    Extremely messy hair.

    66.

    Flickr: emoryphoto / creativecommons.org

    "Fuck, this slow internet shits me to tears."

    65.

    Flickr: banna123456 / creativecommons.org

    To get angry. Cracking the shits is usually followed by havin' a sook.

    "My kids cracked the shits cos we're going to Ulladulla over the Chrissy holidays. They wanted to go to Wet'n'Wild but it's way too exxy."

    64.

    aussiebum.com

    A rude way of saying "budgie smugglers".

    63.

    Flickr: rusty_clark / creativecommons.org

    An Aboriginal English word for "testicles".

    62.

    Flickr: mathiasappel

    A traditional Australian curse.

    61.

    Thinkstock

    "Don't come the raw prawn with me, ya bullshit artist."

    60.

    Flickr: bitterbug / creativecommons.org

    It means "Stop masturbating and get out of bed."

    59.

    Michael Cusack / Via youtube.com

    An uncouth person.

    58.

    Seven Network

    Like a derro, but worse.

    57.

    Flickr: stevendepolo / creativecommons.org

    Worse than either a derro or a gronk.

    56.

    Flickr: greencolander / creativecommons.org

    Smart, but in a dodgy way.

    55.

    Flickr: mkorcuska / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "GTFO".

    54.

    Flickr: sunphlo / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "very dry".

    53.

    Roadshow

    "Hey Frieda, you slack-arse moll!"

    – Puberty Blues

    52.

    Flickr: nbreazeale / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "good in bed".

    51.

    Thinkstock

    What Irene from Home and Away would say if she won at Keno.

    50.

    youtube.com

    An acronym for "Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck?"

    49.

    Flickr: miroslav-vajdic / creativecommons.org

    You got busted once in grade five for saying this in front of a teacher.

    48.

    Flickr: happenstancephotos / creativecommons.org

    Horny AF.

    47.

    Jeremykemp / en.wikipedia.org / creativecommons.org

    "You can stick that piccolo latte up your arse, ya bloody wanker."

    46.

    Flickr: fussyonion / Via creativecommons.org

    A slightly less rude way of saying "go fuck yourself".

    45.

    Flickr: rocketboom / creativecommons.org

    When "ranga" is not offensive enough.

    44.

    Roadshow

    Another iconic line from Puberty Blues.

    43.

    Flickr: pikerslanefarm / creativecommons.org

    A nail-biter. "Swans v Collingwood is gonna be an absolute ball-tearer."

    42.

    youtube.com

    Aboriginal English for "sexual intercourse".

    "Let's have a doori?"

    "Yeah, nah."

    41.

    Flickr: jganderson / creativecommons.org

    "Can you switch the channel? It's a mystery box on MasterChef tonight."

    "Stiff shit, I'm watching the footy."

    40.

    Flickr: alicehenneman / creativecommons.org

    Australian for 🍆.

    39.

    partypacks.co.uk

    It means "Hello, and by the way you're ugly."

    38.

    etsy.com

    An Aboriginal English word for "vulva".

    37.

    Flickr: mikecogh / creativecommons.org

    Also known as "getting barred up".

    36.

    Flickr: greencolander / creativecommons.org

    "Sorry, it's a $10 minimum for Eftpos."

    "Lick my salty piss."

    35.

    Thinkstock

    "Are you a virgin?"

    "Technically yes, though I once gave someone a gobbie in the storage room at Hungry Jack's."

    34.

    Thamizhpparithi Maari / commons.wikimedia.org / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "I'm going to teabag you."

    33.

    Shalom / Via commons.wikimedia.org / creativecommons.org

    Slang for "semi-erection".

    32.

    Flickr: newtown_grafitti / creativecommons.org

    "Is that spoof on your tracky-daks?"

    "Nah just Yoplait Go-Gurt."

    31.

    Flickr: carolemage / creativecommons.org

    Slang for "vulva".

    30.

    Cherylyn Barnes / Via youtube.com

    "Hey Mum, I borrowed 20 bucks from your purse to buy a So Fresh CD."

    "You've gotta be fucken joken!"

    29.

    Flickr: peretzpup / creativecommons.org

    "Whaddaya think of the MKR judges?"

    "Manu is nice but Pete's a bit of a fuckstick."

    28.

    Flickr: gartenfreuden / creativecommons.org

    "Robbo might be a cocksmack, but he can be a funny bloke at times."

    – PiesCheerSquad

    27.

    Dan Parsons / Via commons.wikimedia.org / creativecommons.org

    "Just found out Logan asked two other girls to the formal before me. What a deadshit."

    26.

    Flickr: ajleon / creativecommons.org

    The classic Australian school prank. If you answered yes to this question, you were rekt for all eternity.

    25.

    Thinkstock

    Or if you want to be more polite, "bloody oath".

    24.

    unsplash.com

    It means "Insert a dog into your rectal cavity."

    23.

    Flickr: awfulshot / creativecommons.org

    Or "shit ay" if you want to be a bit less rude.

    22.

    Thinkstock

    What you say when you bite into a jaffle and burn your tongue on the hot insides.

    21.

    en.wikipedia.org

    Australian for *facepalm*.

    20.

    Thinkstock

    A traditional Australian greeting. (Via jungkookfan69)

    19.

    Flickr: nate

    "I feel really crook. That fuck-knuckle must have sold us bad pingers."

    18.

    Flickr: kentfredric / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "gay".

    17.

    Flickr: iamagenious / creativecommons.org

    "Trent was being such a fucken dickhead Jetstar almost chucked us off the flight to Bali."

    16.

    ABC

    Made famous in an epic Four Corners episode.

    15.

    Flickr: shaireproductions / creativecommons.org

    A roundabout way of saying "You're stupid."

    14.

    unsplash.com

    Even drier than a dead dingo's donger.

    "Chicken Crimpies are the worst Shapes. They're dry as a nun's nasty."

    13.

    BuzzFeed

    The Auslan (Australian Sign Language) sign for "Youse can all get fucked."

    12.

    Flickr: scott1723 / creativecommons.org

    Australian for "not here to waste time", though no one actually ever says it.

    11.

    en.wikipedia.org

    The classic Greek insult.

    10.

    Flickr: anemoneprojectors / creativecommons.org

    A grub is exactly twice as bad as a mongrel.

    9.

    Flickr: awfulshot / creativecommons.org

    "Carn cunt, lend me ya car so I can go pick up some weed."

    8.

    jseliger2 / Flickr: 91262622@N02 / creativecommons.org

    🎵 "I've had an absolute cunt of a day
    Everything that could go, did go wrong
    So if I'm allowed to use the word cunt in a song
    I've had an absolute cunt of a day."     🎵

    – Kevin Bloody Wilson, "Cunt of a Day"

    7.

    Thinkstock

    A rude way of saying "a few roos loose in the top paddock".

    6.

    Flickr: pboyd04 / creativecommons.org

    "Giz a durry, mate."

    "Garn git fucked!"

    5.

    Thinkstock

    An awesome person. "Jayden brought four boxes of nangs to our house party. What a sick cunt."

    4.

    Matt Adams / Herald Sun

    Even better than a sick cunt. Pretty much the highest compliment you can pay an Aussie.

    3.

    Thinkstock

    "Fuck your mum" in Cantonese ("屌你老母").

    2.

    Thinkstock

    What you say when someone nabs your parking spot at Bunnings.

    1.

    Thinkstock

    The worst thing you can call an Australian, tbh. (Via LucyXIV)

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