5 Stages Of Walking Dead Withdrawal

Like any addiction, it changes you.

1. Infection

Symptoms appear quickly. Within one hour of watching the midseason finale, you will develop a headache and chills. There's no remedy for this sort of obsession, not even Chris Hardwick's charming nerd hotness. Is that why your heart is all aflutter? No, those are palpitations.

2. Pain

The high you achieved by watching the cliffhanger over and over again is wearing thin. Fever and flu like symptoms develop. You try to alleviate the emptiness by watching Zombieland, because Bill Murray, but what's Haymitch doing in this movie?

3. Loss of Mobility

People start avoiding you at all costs, but not because they don't care! It's just that they'd prefer to remember you as you were, and not what you've become. Only the very young and very old venture close enough to check for a pulse, but your shallow breathing exercises frighten them off as well.

4. Unconsciousness

You slip into a catatonic state and are unresponsive to most stimuli, all but the Love Actually soundtrack. Maybe it's for the better; this type of suffering is a solitary sport.

5. Reanimation

Before you know it, Rick D. Wasserman's voice, smooth like peanut butter, announces the February premiere date and you're back! Not quite yourself, but you're back! It doesn't look like the lethargy is wearing off, maybe you just need some sun?