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    21 Signs You've Been Replaced By A Kindle

    No matter how much we love them, Kindles can take you away from the people in your life. So be glad your other half enjoys reading the 21st century way... but check for these symptoms every so often. It might make all the difference.

    1. Their sole conversation topic is whatever they're reading.


    And if you throw them a conversational curveball, they'll just bring it back.

    2. They treat new Kindle releases as non-optional.


    "I know my birthday's seven months away, but I WANT IT."

    3. Their Kindle library shows as 50% or more unread.

    "I know it's not what I usually read, but it was FREE!"

    4. And most of them are thrillers by people you've never heard of.

    Chris Worth / Via

    "Is the new Blake out yet? No? How about Box or Boyd?"

    5. Forgetting their Kindle is more of an issue than forgetting their phone.


    "I can't talk to you, but at least I'll have something to read."

    6. When they say "Let's have a night in", they mean... with their Kindle.


    "I know I said we'd try that restaurant... but I'm on 89%."

    7. They only want to watch TV if they've got the book on their Kindle.


    "THAT's not what happens in the book!"

    8. A book only being out in paperback is somehow worse than a zombie apocalypse.



    9. When you wake up in the night, there's always a dim whiteish glow.


    "It's all right. Go back to sleep. Like, NOW."

    10. Panic attacks ensue if the Low Battery warning comes on.


    "It takes forever to charge. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND."

    11. They spend a lot of time categorising.

    "No bulk-add feature... WANT MULTISELECT, JEFF. NOW."

    12. They don't understand shared sofa time *isn't* Kindle time.

    "I can watch and read at the same time, OK?"

    13. Their nose turns up at anyone reading "real" books.


    "I can carry a THOUSAND of those on this."

    14. They get unusually voluble whenever you ask them what they're reading.


    "Just a book on quantum physics. I find Cox's halfway house didacticism between pop-sci and textbook, not shying away from equations, refreshingly different and informative."

    15. They talk about indie authors as personal friends...

    Chris does Content

    "Hugh's storyworld is solid and believable, while Theresa's a bit darker than John, and Russell is just plain bonkers."

    16. ...while forgetting their characters aren't well known to everyone.

    "Bourne and Indy top action heroes? BS. Winners are clearly Donovan, Lizzy, and that engineer girl from Silo 17."

    17. But take heart - they're not really lost to you.

    Today's Parent

    "Date night this month? PLEASE?"

    18. Because inside every Kindle reader is a Kindle author.

    The Independent

    "I could write this stuff. Really. I could."

    19. And if you help them on their journey...

    Chris Worth

    "You know, this is a great fight scene. But what if you made them all VAMPIRES?"

    20. might discover how amazing they think you are.


    "This character that's about my age... and went to the same school as me... and does that thing with her eyebrows.. who's it based on?"

    21. So reclaim your relationship, by stepping into their world of words.


    A world where you can live forever in the realm of imagination. With, hopefully, regular trips back to the humdrum everyday one.

    22. Because you're not really lost to their world. You've become part of their bigger one.

    The author is a freelance writer who pens thrillers (as Mark Charteris) and nonfiction (as Chris Worth.) If you're interested in making your dreams pay, why not join the mailing list for his next book, "100 Days, 100 Grand"?

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