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How To Have A Revolutionary Night

Some nights with your friends feel like the whole world's aligned against you. But not tonight. You have a blank page, your compatriots, and freedom.

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5. Be assertive.

John Singleton Copley / public domain /

"No, see? It says right here it's ladies' night. They're not supposed to pay. That's just good business—also you are wrong because my wig looks ill as hell."

7. And make reasonable compromises.

Alonzo Chappel / public domain /

"I don't really want to do any shots, but if I do one will it be fine to stick with beer for the rest of the night?" or "Eh, I'm not really up for a twerk, but how do you feel about schmoney dance?"

10. Let your freak flag fly.

Percy Moran / public domain /

But if you don't feel welcome there or that trying to fit in is too taxing, then leave. Just declare your independence and leave for night more unified and perfect.

12. Keep your cool under pressure.

Joshua Reynolds / public domain /

It's just a horse, man. Wait, how'd a horse get in this bar? Actually, if there's a cannon, maybe reconsider this bar.

13. Don't spring for a table.

John Trumbull / public domain /

In fact, you probably shouldn't even be in a place where the only way to have "fun" is to have a table in the back. That doesn't even look like fun. No one's even poppin' bottles.

14. Don't forget to tip your bartender.

http://A.M. Willard / public domain /

Just as you've drummed up some business for him, he can drum up some business for you, *wink*. But seriously, it's just polite.

16. Make sure the whole clique knows where you live.

John Trumbull / public domain /

Because you never know when you'll end up flat on your back, whether your legs just give out, a heel breaks, or your ex walks in.

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