Hopefully at home, but realistically in your man’s bed.Somewhere pretending I don’t have work to do, making decisions I will regret laterIn the Sims 4 Virtual Online World, or wandering the empty streets with a bottle of Pink Moscatobars 24/7TRINITY AND TRINITY ONLY (exception for Virg)Vaguely committing to going out and then leaving the pregame to go watch the officeRunning somewhere along 14th, yelling at you about how not drunk I amwherever Katie Johnson isCopeley because it’s so fucking far away, if not then dragging my ass to 14thIn my car, headed to cuddle with baby goatsDrunkenly trying to call my lost phone using my phoneSipping local craft beer while playing Nancy Drew Interactive Computer GamesProbably chillin w/ bae (aka organic chemistry lol)Not going out because I “dog want to drink” and “have work to do” and then ending up in my bed with a bottle of wine (that I will finish)
over protective (esp of cobigs)One who fucked up the ranking for littles and got her last choice first! Darn :/the kind that showers you with glitter and alcoholI once cried silently to myself, observing my little rolling around on the floor.Obsessed with my Little, absolutely zero chillobsessed with my little, but like 3 chilltrying to be better than my co-big (jk I love them both <33)¯\_(ツ)_/¯Involved as much as possible!The kind to quietly obsesses over you and when I pass you on the street I look at the ground because if we make eye contact ill cry tears of joyOne who adores her little but also wants them to be as shady as she is...Distant-Brooding-Father-Type, w/ the occasional meme for loving contactOne who, from a distance, peacefully admires the sheer fabulous qualities of my little, then pounces w/ love when given the chanceA messy big that has a lot of love to give and doesn't know what to do with it all. Also not slick at all, you know who I am the week before revs bc I'm a fuck up.
wanna go to cookout?????The one who takes care of their big. The Little BigI’m old and all of my bigs have disappeared no excuses fix this unacceptabletoo hard too much too fastGoes to my bigs for any and all PSP gossipHug-tackle. 100% of all of the timeDangerously affectionate and on the hunt to find out hoo you areShots o’clock?I straddle my big every time, no exceptionsOne that’s chill and vibes (and roasts others) w/ his big in every sphere of life possibleone who wants to be around you 24/7 but afraid to get on your nerves so acts chill insteadLet’s get chipotle and #chatI just adore my big!!!I make it my goal as a little to encroach upon my Bigs freedom and personal space as often and as obsessively as I can (out of pure love)
What The Fuck Am I Majoring In 6969It’s in A-School so you’ve probably never heard of itMobile App Development so I can make a new and worse GrindrExploring Nihilism as an Excuse for My Plummeting GPA 2020How to Not Cry Every Time You Get Stressed 101An anthro class that I thought would be fun but is actually really fucking hardClaymation 3820, just tryna make a less creepy Wallace & Gromit for the world to appreciateMUSI 420 (aka learn to groove)Did Jesus Smoke Pot?Introductory Course to the End of My Fucking Life/Beginning of a NapWhen will I get paid for this shit?Love and Other DrugsWine Tasting for Poor People 202 (advanced level/accelerated course)I think my hair is thinning at an alarming rate b/c of orgo 101
Aladdin, but mostly for the sweet ride tbhOlder AndyScar ..bless that dark maneTarzanCaptain HookSmeeKing Triton #daddySimbaZac EfronAladdin and Li Shang, at the same timeKovu (from The Lion King 2)Beast (post transformation by day, pre-transformation by night ;)Kevin (the pheasant) from UP….don’t ask
Late night talks at Sweet FrogDriving with some good tunes, with baeWherever Kobe Bryant isBottom of a bottleBlackoutThe forestLake sebago, Raymond MEDrinking with close friends and their hot friends brought from out of town.The kitchenThe Ninth Circle of Hell“The Spot”Wherever there’s an Incredibles pregame <3On the beach with a case of seagramsAnywhere with palm trees and drinks in coconuts
Spy whose cover is being a stand-up comedianStay-at-home Dad and/or sommelier extraordinaireMakeup Vlogger/TravelerYour motherThe person who makes up languages for sci-fi movies/TV #Na'viErotic parody fiction novelistKing of the United States of AmericaChocolate connoisseurWriting a blog about bagelsTravel blogger and food writerTbh just a farmerThe next Chance the RapperSugar babyTravel blogger and food writer
Bones… call me Dr. Temperance BrennanThe demise of my futureLaugh factoryChris ReedThe Office all day every dayFirst 48Old videos of Justin BieberOlympic figure skating routinesVine compilationsThe constant failure of my enemies’ livesDance MomsHarry PotterThe Great British Baking Show and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Pink moscato bitchezSemenSvedka Mango Pineapple in Simply Orange JuiceJäger bombsBold RockI mean…. wine. Are we sensing the motif of my life yet? ( it's wine) preferably a rosé, occasionally a Riesling (not too sweet), always a redWhatever is in the cup closest to meA$AP CIroccccccShots of everclear chased with waterThe cheapest beer at 7Day, Genesee Cream AleBourbonMike's Hard Strawberry LemonadeWeek old urine or 1% milkLimeritas
Do you ever purposefully stop breathing so your heart rate will go down?Seeing Shaw Driggers is the only stimulant I needToo poor for coffeeI don’t drink coffeeEnough that I should realistically be deadNegative oneDoes excessive amounts of chocolate milk count???COFFEE COFFEE COFFEENot enough...never enoughOnly iced coffee from Einstein’sSweet Tea ALL DAY EVERY DAYDoes tea count?I had a coffee transfusion last night. Your body is 70% water, mine is coffee/espresso based drinksZero….the concept of coffee is a lie fabricated by the govt.
Which Incredible Are You?
ur the reason we can't have nice things (like mixers with with APO) seek help immediately
"This is my grindr prof pic, and i want that to be explicitly mentioned in the description"
You get wine drunk because you think it's classier. Also stop calling ppl daddy
Your body is composed entirely of Taco Bell, Einstein's Santa Fe Wrap, and Walmart Flannels
You're actually put together as a human being and always looking phresh to death. also #sports
You're the mom in the neighborhood that everyone hates because you actually have your shit together while running a company, competing in triathlons, and making it to all of your kids' soccer games.
You have a heart that is somehow bigger than the collective ego of the Greats. You might love animals more than humans
Garbage, but warm beautiful sunshine garbage. Also you can't keep your eyes open in pictures for ur gd life.
An ogre is like an onion, it has many layers. Underneath your cold calculating exterior is a heart capable of love and warmth and binge drinking p.s. the fortune cookie reads: "avoid compulsively making things worse"
Too photogenic. People spend over two hours trying to find a bad picture of you to use in Buzzfeed quizzes.
u r v chill ha ha
You are the voice of a generation and sweet tea courses through your veins.
Honestly, you’re gonna need Nancy Drew in order to find ur gdamn eyes
Your kink is kink shaming and also 1800s full costume role play