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10 Rappers Giving Dope Financial Advice

2014 is about savvy investments and portfolio diversification, playa. Everyone has a price on their dreams. Tonight at 10:30 p.m. is the debut of Chozen, the new FX Network comedy series about a formerly squeaky-clean rapper who got framed, did 10 years in the joint, came out gangsta, and is trying to build an empire from the ground up.

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1. "Seems like the more money we come across the more problems we see."

Notorious B.I.G., "Mo Money Mo Problems"

Without a doubt, your newfound millions will present a host of challenges — haters, hangers-on, capital gains tax rates, you name it — but if you're smart about investing and managing your paper, the sky's the limit.

2. "Call me doberman, 'cause I'm a pincher of pennies."


Common, "Chapter 13 (Rich Man vs. Poor Man)"

Just 'cause you're a baller doesn't mean you should throw money around. Nothing's more gangsta than fiscal responsibility.

3. "Diversify your millions, you can live off the interest."

Xzibit, "Everything"

Sure, you got cash stacked higher than giraffe pussy. So the next step is to minimize fiscal risk by spreading your investments over a diverse variety of assets, and allow your money to generate further income through earned interest.

4. "Holla 'we want prenup.'"

Kanye West feat. Jamie Foxx, "Gold Digger"

A prenuptial agreement is a dope-ass way to protect one's assets in case of an acrimonious divorce. Laws vary state to state, but all too often if she leaves your ass, she is likely to leave with half.

5. "That's another difference between me and them. I smarten up, open the market up."

Jay-Z, "U Don't Know"

While most rappers are giving free publicity to brands through their lyrics and videos, true Wall Street players start their own brands, allowing for some hype cross-promotion and synergy while diversifying their assets.

6. "Cash rules everything around me."

Wu-Tang Clan, "C.R.E.A.M."

In uncertain markets, it's important to have a significant reserve of cash rather than to invest it in volatile derivatives or mortgage-backed securities.

7. "Employ a lawyer that's been bar mitzvahed."


Action Bronson, "Morey Boogie Boards"

A lot of rappers consider Jewish lawyers to be a must-have accessory, and one who hasn't been bar mitzvahed is likely to be under 13 years old, and thus not a competent choice for legal representation.

8. "Floss a little, invest up in a mutual fund."

Busta Rhymes, "Dangerous"

Mutual funds offer risk management and dividend reinvestment, plus a management fee covers the cost of a professional portfolio manager, so you don't need a finance degree to profit from the ever-changing global economic market. Mid-sized market capitalization 4 lyfe!

9. "Get your money right, be an international player."

Dr. Dre feat. The Game & Jay-Z, "Get Your Money Right"

Huge opportunities are opening up globally, as the ubiquity of personal financial tools democratizes the opportunity to invest overseas. A worldwide portfolio not only protects your investment by diversifying your holdings, it also lays the groundwork to take your brand worldwide.

10. "50 dollars for a t-shirt that's some ignorant bitch shit... I call that getting tricked by a business."

schriez / Via (CC BY http://2.0) Flickr: 11214945@N06

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, "Thrift Shop"

There's nothing gangsta about overpaying for textiles.

Chozen is fresh out the joint. Is it about to rain gold records up in here? Judge for yourself:

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