33 Sentences You'll Only Understand If You're In A Book Club

1. "I've got my book group tonight." – "I'm going to get really drunk on house red and pretend I'm fancy and cultured."

2. And "I just finished it today, actually!" – "I skipped from page 23 to the end on the bus here."

3. "So what did everyone think?" – "I did not understand this book, please explain it to me."

4. "Yeah, I liked it." – "I don't have anything constructive to say about it, but it was fine."

5. "I definitely wouldn't have picked it but I'm glad I read it." – "Natalie is never allowed to pick the fucking book ever the fuck again."

6. "I can't believe that ending!" – "I don't know how it ends, hahahaha."

7. "I totally agree!" – "I didn't read it but what you said sounds really smart."

8. "So, I personally found it really interesting that..." – "I am showing off because I both read and understood this book."

9. "Ohh... interesting point." – "I totally disagree but I'm not here to start a fight."

10. "I totally didn't read it that way." – "FIGHT ME."

11. "I mean it was fine." – "That was the worst effing book I've ever read in my life."

12. "May run a bit late tonight." – "I didn't read the book and I'm hoping you will be done talking about it by the time I arrive."

13. "Ugh it's been a crazy month I completely ran out of time to finish it." – "I didn't want to read this stupid book so I didn't."

14. "Shall we do a short one next month?" – "I'm not reading more than 250 pages."

15. "Did anyone see the film version?" – "I watched the film instead of reading the book."

16. "I WILL finish it though." – "I will definitely never touch this book again."

17. "Oh, I got a copy of the new Ian McEwan for Christmas, I'd love to read that next!" – "I'm broke and don't want to pay for a book."

18. “I thought it was a bit anticlimactic.” – “I rushed to the end and I’m not sure I followed it at all.”

19. “I read it on audiobook.” – “I probably zoned out during the big twist reveal and completely misunderstood the book.”

20. “It was a bit wanky, if you ask me.” – “A very obviously straight white rich man wrote this book about straight white rich men.”

21. “I wish there had been more women in it?” – “OMG this was suuuuuch a sexist book.”

22. “I guessed the twist like two pages in.” – “I had a vague inkling that something like that was going to happen right before it did, but I still feel really smug about that.”

23. “You can see that the author was really influenced by Joyce.” – “I want everyone to know (or think) I read Ulysses.”

24. “The writing was just really bad wasn’t it?” – “I actually started writing a book myself because I figured ‘hey, if this guy can do it.’”

25. “Shall we pick our next book off the Man Booker list?” – “I am such an insufferable asshole.”

26. “Has anyone actually read a book with GOOD sex scenes?” – “I read 50 Shades of Grey and was actually kinda turned on by it but I don’t want to admit it.”

27. “Haha, oh my God, I know! That book you mentioned IS terrible.” – “Ah shit I love that book.”

28. “So what should we read next?” – “For the love of God someone else pick a book because I don’t want to take the blame in case it’s bad.”

29. “I heard really good things about the new Ali Smith.” – “If we don’t read the new Ali Smith next I will hold it against you all for the next year at least.”

30. “Let’s make it an early one tonight.” – “I need to feel like I at least tried to be a responsible adult even though I’m definitely going to get sloshed at book club drinks.”

31. "More wine?" – "It’s the point in the evening when we descend to slagging off Twilight."

32. “Twilight is soooooo bad.” – “I once owned a Team Jacob t-shirt."

33. “Shall we do it over dinner next time?” – “We will keep meeting in shit pubs with no food and end up in McDonald’s after for eternity.”

34. “See you next month?” – “Let’s meet up in between and not even pretend to talk about books.”