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1. A pack of dishwasher tablets because — womp, womp — the appliance that cleans your dishes needs some cleaning of its own.
2. A tub of The Pink Stuff which can clean anything you throw at it — tires, pots and pans, stove tops, walls, showers, you name it!
3. An automatic Glade air freshener so you can save guests (and yourself) the embarrassment of having to manually Febreze the bathroom before you exit.
4. A pack of pH-neutral stainless steel wipes which eliminate fingerprints (or doggie nose prints), grease, and streaks from your appliances. Just 🎶 wipe, wipe, wipe it down, wipe 🎶
5. An all-natural lavender-scented cleaner that deodorizes and eliminates bacteria just like the best of 'em but without any irritating chemicals.
6. A jetted tub cleaner so you're not bathing in the remnants of whatever products the previous homeowner used. (The absolute horror.)
7. A touchless vacuum you can sweep debris right into. No more song and dance with your dust pan trying to sweep up every last speck of dust.
8. A pouch of foaming garbage disposal cleaner to eliminate the special stank that can only be produced after years of shredding up meat, produce, and whatever that mystery blob was that came out of your long-lost Tupperware.
9. A rosemary and citrus glass cleaner 'cause turns out taking a baby wipe to your mirror only made things worse. Begone, streaks!
10. An ooey gooey dust remover you can use on keyboards, air conditioners, car vents and anywhere else crumbs accumulate.
11. A Swiffer WetJet ready to tackle all hardwood floors underfoot. Forget wringing out mops and getting down on hands and knees to clean — this guy's got everything covered.
12. A lil' gap-cleaning brush you can use to dig out the crud (dust, pollen, food crumbs) that accumulates around your windowsills and door tracks.
13. A portable paw washer because you'll be damned if your dog tracks muddy prints all over your freshly Swiffered home!
14. An adjustable, three-blade blind duster capable of cleaning the grimiest blinds — we're talking top and bottom — in one fell swoop. This way, you won't be engulfed by a cloud of dust every time you crack them open.
15. A pack of pre-moistened screen cleaning cloths so you can give your TV a little TLC before you sit down and watch some TLC.
16. An automatic lavender-scented toilet bowl cleaner that not only deodorizes, but prevents nasty rings and stains for up to two weeks.
17. A drill brush attachment kit so you can blast away dirt and grime with little elbow grease but lots of power-tool-enabled muscle.
18. A bottle of powdered Bar Keepers Friend that'll cut through years of dirt, hard water stains, and rust with such ease, reviewers say the only explanation is witchcraft.
19. A Chom Chom roller to put your regular ol' lint roller to shame. Forget ripping off sheets till you run out — this collects everything in a neat little compartment you simply empty out.
20. A pack of bottle-cleaning tablets that take your go-to water bottle from nasty to gleaming in just minutes. Idk who needs to hear this, but "rinsing" it with water everyday isn't enough. 😔
21. A fur-eliminating broom capable of squeegeeing enough fur from your carpet that if magically animated, it would transform into one of Martha Stewart's Chow Chows.
22. A TubShroom so you don't have to worry about a wig's worth of hair accumulating in your drain every week.
23. Or, if you didn't heed my advice and get the above, a drain snake that'll help you wrestle a small animal from your bathtub.
24. The Blueland Clean Suite which comes with everything you need to give your collection an eco-friendly, cost-effective overhaul. So many pretty colors, too 😍
25. Or, if dishes are your main area of concern, a Clean Plate Club Starter Kit from Fillaree.
26. A self-cleaning Litter-Robot which not only saves you from scooping poop, but gives you an excuse to send Star Wars-themed Snapchats of your cat.
27. A Little Green carpet cleaner capable of sucking up a mess of any caliber. Be warned, though: Reviewers say once you start, you won't stop.
28. An Angry Mama microwave cleaner that, once filled with water and a dash of vinegar, will steam clean the grimiest of appliances. Hot Pocket grease, butter splatters, and burnt popcorn smells are no match for her.
29. A Clorox toilet wand with disposable scrubbing pads you can plop into the trash the second you're done cleaning. No more poo particles just sitting around on your toilet brush. 🙅♀️
30. A sleek air purifier that doesn't just suck up whatever pollutants are swirling around in your home — it DESTROYS them on a molecular level. (Man I love science 😌)
31. A Dawn Powerwash starter kit that will help cut through grease and caked on messes. If your partner/roommate/dishwashing pal has a tendency to let things "soak" overnight, gift them a bottle of the good stuff.
32. A bottle of Goo Gone gel spray because nobody — and I mean nobody — wants to deal with the residue left behind by stickers and other lousy adhesives. Plus, it comes with a little scraping tool so you won't chip a nail or snap a debit card in half while trying to finish the job.
33. A pack of Mr. Clean Magic Erasers that somehow, someway remove whatever mess you put them up against. Good news for those with kiddos who've ever had unsupervised time with a (stolen) Sharpie!
34. An eco-friendly carpet and upholstery deodorizer to hide the fact that you've dumped lo mein on your rug not once, not twice, but thrice.
35. A set of scratch-free, odor-resistant Scrub Daddy sponges that — thanks to their ingenious design and indisputable results — quickly became a Shark Tank success story. The sponge's proprietary foam is firm when used with cold water, and soft when used with warm water.
36. A vacuum attachment you can use to suck lint out of your dryer because 1. Things are taking wayyyyy too long to dry and 2. This Is Us has given you a *major* fear of house fires. (I know that was from a different appliance but it stands.)
37. A grout pen that deposits long-lasting, nontoxic ink that'll erase years of stains. If you've scrubbed, scrubbed, and scrubbed some more — all without result — then submit to the stains and just get this.
38. And pet stain remover to hide the fact that Sparky isn't the perfect angel you make him out to be on Instagram. But that's okay buddy, we all make mistakes.
