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10 Simple Steps To Get Your Winter Bod

It's not too late.

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1. Build a Baseline

Flickr: 52902669@N05

This is really crucial to any body care routine. You basically need to start taking inventory of where you are and where you want be. Gauge things like the number of burritos you can hold in one hand, how long can you lay in bed watching Netflix, and how many crumbs you may find in your belly button. This will help with establishing where you want to be in a month from now.

3. Gather all the TV Streaming Passwords: That Means Hulu Plus, Netflix, HBOGo, WHATEVER YOU DON’T HAVE, JUST GET IT.

Become a spy. You need this. You need this for your initial winter hibernation and then to continue to hibernate. DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO. NO FRIENDS, JUST PASSWORDS. ARE YOU SERIOUS OR WHAT?

4. Become a Front, Back, Anytimeyoudamnplease Loader

You may be programmed to only eat at certain meal times but it really should be an all-day, everyday kind of thing. This can be difficult but it really depends on how hard you are willing to work for the hot winter bod.

**Please note this photo is ~aspirational~, don't feel pressured to be like this RIGHT away. You'll get there!!!***


7. Fries Fridays

Compfight / Flickr: 36681111@N00

Yeah, some places call it "Fitness Fridays" but why would you do that to yourself? FRIES FRIDAY ALL DAY ERRDAY. JK, just Fridays. Please note this applies to all fried food. Buy a ticket to a state fair if you can! The world is your (fried) oyster, take a bite!

9. Pick the right poison

Creative Commons / Flickr: 83447993@N00

Pick a vegetable every day to remind you of the dark side and mock the crap out of it. This is your poison and it deserves to cry. Go ahead, laugh in the vegetable's face.

10. Just Dance!

Self-explanatory. This goes hand in hand with a little extra life hack from me to you. Seriously, this one is free. You can keep your winter body for however long you want!!!!! Transitions great for spring, summer, and even fall. It's your body, you human, you. And it's great all seasons.