13 Photos That Prove Cats Run The Illuminati

WAKE UP, PEOPLE. Analysis uses the slidey thing.

EVER WONDER WHY YOUR CAT CONTROLS YOUR LIFE?? OR why your much bigger dog is AFRAID OF HER?? Well, here’s some pretty solid evidence that most cats are part of the secret society that controls the world…the ILLUMINATI.

Mary Dauterman

Analysis: This cat has the obvious signs all cats have in their ears. However, the most concerning part is how AUDACIOUS the tummy triangle is. It’s right in front of our eyes and YOU KNOW she’s taking glee in our willing blindness.


Analysis: This may be one of the more concerning. She bears the Illumanti sign between fur on her paws, her nose and her ears….



Analysis: Yeah, it seems like this cat is just chilling. BUT LOOK AT THE DETAILS IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE, PEOPLE. His fur contains tons and tons of smaller triangles, everywhere, waiting for the right animals to notice. Those markings are no mistake, people.

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Analysis: This one is particularly terrifying. Not only does the cat bare a single illuminati sign (either a power move by a top ranking official OR someone new to the organization. I’M NOT IN THE ILLUMINATI OKAY, I DON’T KNOW THEIR POWER STRUCTURE PERFECTLY). Anyways, it’s that TRAIN TRACK, a clear meeting place. It is NO COINCIDENCE that perspective makes things turn into triangles. Also, look at that yellow thing in the corner…I’m not saying it’s Lady Gaga hiding up there but I’m not saying it’s NOT Lady Gaga.


Analysis: These casual triangles show just how deep cats are in the illuminati world. That triangle INSIDE the other triangle on the right??? FUCK.


Analysis: This cat has all the normal cat illuminati signs BUT what makes her even more fascinating?? SHE IS CONTORTING HER BODY TO CLEARLY DISPLAY A MESSAGE. No one just MAKES their body into a triangle without TRYING.

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Analysis: This is clearly a new-comer. This cat was JUST told of his illuminati status. Look at the small triangle in his eye: that’s REALIZAITON. Also, the proof is in his reflection. Scary stuff.

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Analysis: Personally, I’m terrified of this cat. That steady gaze, while creating extra triangles in his stance. This is a classic illuminati power stance. I’m getting chills just looking at it, TBQH.

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Analysis: You KNOW it’s bad when the cat’s MOUTH contains triangles. THIS IS A SILENT BATTLE CRY, PEOPLE. IT IS THE MOST DANGEROUS OF BATTLE CRIES.

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Analysis: LOOK! HE ALREADY GOT THIS HUMAN. All illuminati are CAT PEOPLE for a reason: they were converted by CATS. LOOK AT HIS GAZE, how he’s working with her by creating the symbol between him.

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Analysis: This is an aggressive one. This cat wants to intimidate by showing off those triangles.

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Analysis: OMG OMG OMG. THIS IS SO HORRIBLE. To stick your tongue through the illuminati triangle signifies a WORLD DOMINATOR like one we have never seen. Someone should keep an eye on this cat to make sure she only uses her powers for good, not evil.


Analysis: LOOK AT THAT BABY’S ARM AND LEG PLACEMENT. THE CAT REMAINS CLOSE BUT NOT TOO CLOSE. This can be an OK thing if the baby is not easily manipulated. All the other pictures though show JUST how much the cats are the head of the illuminate and probably (definitely) manipulate the humans we know to be part of it too. Good luck to this child. And to all humans susceptible to the illuminati’s control (AKA EVERYONE.)

You have been warned.

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