Hi, I'm Chelsea. I'm the animals editor and tend to steer clear of anything that ONLY promotes purebred dogs.
Purebred dogs are cute and deserve all the love but so do mutts! More than anything, I am ~pro dog~ so wanted to see what the whole fuss was about. As a result, I did the very difficult task of hanging out with some adorable dogs and their very nice humans. This is what happened.
1. Arriving at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show is kind of crazy. Like, WOW LOOK AT ALL THESE DOGS crazy.
People are VERY pushy to want to get in while the dogs are very calm and very "whatever" about the whole thing. The man controlling the elevator entrance is VERY aggressive with his demands so you know he's been yelling at a lot of people all day. The dogs know where to go and have a lot of chill so maybe humans should start learning from them. I'm just saying.
2. It's really odd looking at a sea of dogs sorted by type. They mostly behave the same and they ALL have the same hairstyle.
3. Basically, they're just in a clique that only their humans know they're part of.
4. Oh, and DO NOT touch them while they are getting their hair done.
5. The way they check the dogs is ALARMING.
6. I found this magazine and it's very dramatic. Papi seems to be the soap opera star of the dog world. This is all I know.
7. You know who also farts? Winning dogs. I stood in a fart cloud produced by a group of golden retrievers. It was beautiful.
8. Most of the dogs will sit in your lap if you call their name. They won't even be pretentious about it, despite their accomplishments. It's the best.
9. They also get very, very sleepy.
10. Dogs are patient AF when they're getting their hair done.
11. Some of them hold toys while they get groomed probs 'cause it makes people stop and smile and dogs are really cool like that.
12. A lot of dogs are groomed in a way that they can't see.
13. Dogs wear amazing things to keep their hair in place. Like this banana suit.
He was REALLY wiggly so it was hard to get a pic but LOOK AT THE BANANA SUIT!
They also kept their hair in these pigtail things until the last moment.
14. PEOPLE DRINK ALCOHOL at these events.
15. There are snacks you can buy but it's really hard to remember to eat when you are surrounded by visions like this:
16. The humans who belong to the dogs ADORE them and vice versa.
17. Handlers are not always the same as the dog owners.
I use owners here for shorthand because no one can own a dog. You are its human and, if anything, your dog owns you at no cost of its own except to deal with you doing its hair and stuff. Anyway, a lot of people who had dogs in the show weren't actually presenting them.
18. Winners still just want your burger. They'll be polite about it but they aren't above asking.
19. I met some "soft" dogs.
20. I was told a dog could tell if I was "in season."
Nothing makes you feel at one with dogs as much as being asked if you're "in season." I'm not even 100% sure what it means but I assume the woman I was talking to was telling me her dog would be able to tell if I was on my period. I would've felt weirder about it if I hadn't watched a bunch of dogs get their parts checked out. Either way, I just smiled and walked away. Sorry to that dog I didn't pet as a result; you were cute but I was afraid.