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This Is Why We Celebrate Slothsgiving

Spoiler alert: we really, really love sloths.

The year is 6 B.C. The place: earth.

Coming from a colony of planets far, far away, these sloths were seeking refuge. Their home planet had run out of tender shoots from an over-grazing species, the Sternflops. Sloths need tender shoots to survive and were forced to look elsewhere. Luckily for humans, these majestic creatures chose our home to inhabit.

Right when they landed, all the other animals surrounded the sloths. They gawked at how slow these new creatures were.

The sloths remained brave in the face of adversity; they knew they would win them over some day...

For centuries, this ridicule went on. The world was not ready for the slow, enjoy-the-moment lifestyle the sloths championed.

The sloths were extremely sad but they did what sloths do: stayed strong and continued to fight for animal unity across all species.

After centuries of continued ridicule, on July 18, 1612, a few sloths decided to hold a dinner party. They had three rules: invite everyone, slow down, and share love. It's just the sloth way.

The party went well! Even though many of the sloths fell asleep during dinner, the animals started to come around to the idea of sloths.

In fact, many of them didn't know what had bugged them in the first place. "Taking it slow, appreciating your neighbor...What's wrong with that?" one dog wrote in an op-ed piece the next day.

A few weeks later, evil King Jester got wind of the sloths’ success and new popularity. Enraged with jealousy, he decreed that being sloth was illegal, punishable by DEATH.

The sloths had no choice but to retreat to the forest.

The sloths lived in trees, vowing to never leave unless they needed to poop and to throw an annual dinner party for all animals on July 18.

Unfortunately, no one ever showed up.

But that did not stop them. Every year, at least one sloth would throw a party in the hopes that SOMEONE would come and celebrate friendship and life with them.

However, starting in 2014, things have been different. We finally got our invitation and we're making sure we celebrate every year!

This holiday is about living life a little more slothfully, enjoying the moment, and maybe eating a few more tender shoots.

Most importantly, it’s a time to celebrate the internet’s favorite creature, one that never gave up on us… THE SLOTH.

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