1. "I hope you like your presents or whatever."
2. "Look, I stayed up all night going down chimneys, please turn off the Mariah Carey."
3. "Okay, I had too much egg nog and got lost last night but that doesn't mean I have to hand in my uniform OKAY?"
4. "My name is Santa Claws. I don't even like puns."
5. "You tell me you don't like that sweater TO MY FACE."
6. "I'm just...so...tired..."
7. "Key to surviving Christmas Eve? Remaining chill at all costs."
8. "No, I will not take this outfit off. I have earned this uniform."
9. "I don't know why I didn't decide to go minimalist sooner."
10. "I've expended all of my Christmas cheer, okay?"
11. "Is this guy kidding me with this crap?"
12. "YEAH I LOOK GOOD IN RED."
13. "Jingle jingle, bitches."
14. "I resent these lights with every fiber of my being."
15. "I don't remember asking for a friend for Christmas."
