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    10 Useless Coachella Tips From Two Ladies Who've Never Been

    Fill your slacks with marijuana because it's time to party.

    We're Joanna and Chelsea. We're excited for the hottest, most urine-soaked festival of the year — Coachella.

    Based on only random photos we've seen and no research whatsoever, we have some tips on making this Coachella the BEST COACHELLA EVER.

    1. Flower crowns are obviously the most important part of Coachella. Buy or DIY flower crowns made of real, actual, beautiful fresh flowers.

    2. Find some cool clothing that has fringe on it.

    Fringe is very important.

    3. Practice which cool name you're going to call it. Only old sad people refer to "Coachella" by its full proper name.

    4. To get that earthy, gritty Coachella look, roll around in some dirt.

    5. Make sure you're hydrated by drinking something disgusting like coconut water.

    6. Practice bumping into people so you'll be ready to fight your way to the stage.

    7. Call your grandparents and tell them you're staying at their condo for the weekend.

    8. Practice making the perfect peace sign.

    9. Make sure your selfie-taking arm is strong.

    10. Pick a random place in the world and misappropriate its culture.

    Have a great Coachelly! ✌️