1.
"Nothing can distract me from my priorities."
2.
"I'm gluten-free, I think I would know if pasta had gluten in it."
4.
"What, it's not weird to need a snack while I decide where to start on my meal. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME OF DAY."
5.
"I'm sorry, are you talking to me? I'm meditating with this food."
6.
"I'm sorry for the things I said when I was hungry."
7.
"I don't understand the word 'diet' and I won't respond to it"
8.
"Look. I've read Hansel and Gretel. And I'm totally cool with the outcome as long as I get this trail of yums."
9.
"Swallow first, eat later."
10.
"Just wrap me up in a blanket of delicious, slimy noodles and call it a day."
11.
"I'm not gonna finish this...just one more, just one...I mean, I just want to try this one and then I'll be done..."
12.
"If I was accepting a Nobel Prize and you offered me a treat, I would literally stop the ceremony to snack."
13.
"DID YOU SAY DINNER??"
14.
"On my death bed, THESE are the moments I will treasure."
15.
"Do not fuck with me when I'm eating."
16.
"I will DESTROY the person who keeps singing me happy birthday...HOHO'S BEFORE BROBRO's"
17.
"I have no recollection of calling you a 'horrible she-monster reptile'. I'm sorry, I must have been blacked out hangry."
18.
"JUST GET OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE IF YOU THINK I'M SHARING."
19.
"DIET STARTS MONDAY."
