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Summers' Greatest Hits

It’s been a rough week for Larry Summers, who recently withdrew himself from the running to head the Fed. As a tribute to the fallen diva, let’s look back at some of his greatest hits.

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Via Time Magazine

As Summers accepts his demotion from Econ chart-topper to White House D-lister, we must never forget his role as the deregulation diva of the 90’s trio Larry, Alan and Rob, which helped the free market achieve ultimate cult status in America.

Anything You Can Do, White Men Do Better

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Annie Get Your Gun / Via youtube.com

Summers became the ultimate champion of white men everywhere after taking on African Americans AND women in his super bangin’ rendition of this Annie Get Your Gun classic. Unfortunately, his sentiments haven’t exactly panned out. First, he lost that sweet gig at Harvard and now, a woman (GASP) is poised to take the job he was almost certain he had in the bag. But don’t feel too bad for him! We’re sure he’ll do just fine.

Wall Street, I Love You

Tumblr / Via tumblr.com

Let’s be honest. Larry’s solo career probably wasn’t filled with adoring fans lining up to get their t-shirts signed. But he did have one fan base that was always eager to oblige. Summers made a killing giving pep talks to Wall Street frat houses, earning thousands of dollars from the same institutions that were bailed out by the White House. You go girl!

It's All About Derivatives, Baby

Nate Beeler - 2010 Cagle Cartoons / Via theweek.com

Before derivatives were such a downer, they were all the craze on Wall Street! And Summers led the charge to make sure these nifty little tricks of the trade got their props. Who cares if they were like dirty steroids masking the true state of our fiscal situation, eventually contributing to our economic demise? It was PARTY time! And we know Wall Street likes a good party!

Goodbye Glass-Steagall, Goodbye

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youtube.com / Via Warren G VEVO

With the success of "Derivatives, Baby," Larry, Alan and Rob joined forces to write the ultimate breakup ballad “Goodbye Glass-Steagall, Goodbye.” The song struck a powerful chord in the hearts of Wall Street, reportedly bringing The Suits to tears of pure unadulterated joy! Finally, Wall Street would no longer be subjected to the oppressive segregation of commercial banks and investment firms, allowing their love affair (and pockets) to flourish. It was all fun and games until this happened. If only the rest of us lowly peasants on Main Street paid attention to the wise words of the Regulator himself:

I'm gettin' jacked, I'm breakin' myself

I can't believe, they takin' Warren's wealth

They took my rings, they took my rolex

I looked at the brotha, said, "Damn, what's next?

The Greatest Recession of All

Via allgroanup.com

What’s now known as the worst financial crisis to hit the US economy since the Great Depression was possibly the trio’s ultimate legacy - a hard dose of reality for Gen Y. But what a reality check it was! Graduating from college with mounds of student debt and no income to pay it off with can sure change one’s perspective. As Summers grapples with what can only be described as the absolute rejection of everything about him, Gen Y might actually get the last laugh.

Here’s to hoping the dereg-diva’s days of policymaking are over. It’s time for Summers to hand over the mic to the pros.

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