Yesterday began like any other normal morning; I woke up, made some coffee, and decided to make myself some eggs. I'm not a big fan of egg yolk (which you'll realize is VERY ironic by the end of this story), so I typically cook one full egg and one egg white for breakfast.
Oh look! A double yolk! Wait, that's good luck right? Hmm, let me consult the internet. Ahh yes, mostly good luck, except for a few sources that say it could be a sign of me (or someone I know) having twins, or dying. Hmm, fingers crossed it's just good luck.
Okay, well, I'm not in the mood for 1 egg white and 2 yolks, so maybe I'll just add another egg white to this to at least even it out.
Wait... what?? Two double yolks in a row?! Okay, I've gotten like 3 double yolks in my entire 30 years (and really like 15 years of cooking) what could this possibly mean? God I really hope I'm not having quadruplets. Okay, well, now I really don't want 4 yolks, this is a little much. I think I'll start over.
::Crack:: ANOTHER DOUBLE YOLK?? This can't be...
::Crack:: A 4TH DOUBLE YOLK??? There's no way...
::Crack:: 5 DOUBLE YOLKS IN A ROW?! This has GOT to be a record!
{Consults Internet}
According to the internet, only 1 in 1,000 eggs have double yolks. The odds of 5 eggs in the same carton having double yolks is... okay I don't know, I'm not a statistician. It's rare, people, rare!
Okay well I'm REALLY not in the mood for eggs now, and frankly I'm torn between whether I should go buy a lottery ticket, a pregnancy test, or say my farewells to friends and family. English muffin it is.
{A few hours of actual work go by...}
Ya know... I wonder... no, it couldn't be. I mean... maybe... maybe I should crack the rest of the eggs in that carton, just to check. Oh man, there's a second carton from the same farm in here too... okay screw it, this is happening.
::CRACK:: No...
::CRACK:: I don't understand...
::CRACK:: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
::CRACK:: Oh my god! A single yolk! I never thought I'd be so happy to see just one gross egg yolk in an egg!
::CRACK:: DOUBLE YOLKS ARE BACK
::CRACK:: Another - I'm not even mad, I'm impressed
::CRACK:: Another - you again huh?
Okay, well, that's the whole first carton... you're up, carton #2.
::CRACK:: x's 12: ALL DOUBLE YOLKS.
I'm now straight up stunned. Well, not too stunned that I couldn't post my findings on Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I went to my social media channels to get some damn answers!
Here's the Twitter timeline of my steadily increasing panic and search for answers (that would never come)
All I could find on the interwebs was a few instances in the UK where people had an unusually high number of double yolks in a row, but the most I found was 19. I'm at 23 at this point!
Okay, at this point I really need to get back to work, and I was out of eggs to crack anyway.
I had to eventually dispose of the 47 egg yolks, despite the fact that I felt that hanging on to them might mean getting into the Guinness Book of World Records, or at least making it on the evening news (which, according to my boyfriend makes me "an 80 year old woman".)
So, Internet, can you help me understand:
A) How this came to be
B) Whether I'm insanely lucky or soon to be a mother of WAY too many kids at once
C) If I discovered some kind of world record
D) If I've just spent far too much time being blown away by this, and should just get back to work (if my boss is reading this, well, uh... I'll work this Saturday)
Share This Article
