3. You check your phone.
You only have 23% because drunk you never plugs sober you’s shit in.
8. You make yourself a Sunday grocery list.
9. The woman at Whole Foods asks “Is this all for you?”
11. Prepare to reject any and all social interaction with the outside world.
15. Look at your orange wedge!
17. Look at your Marathon Television choice!
“I just can’t see past the wallpaper.”
- Hillary Clinton returned to the public arena in one of her first political appearances since the election, urging Democrats to "keep fighting."
- President Trump addressed the Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC, where he lashed out at the media and defended his agenda.
- The White House strongly denies reports that Chief of Staff Reince Priebus urged the FBI to undermine stories linking Trump to Russia.
- Kim Jong Nam, the half-brother of North Korea's leader, was killed with a chemical weapon last week at an airport in Malaysia.