1. The common room is right next to the kitchens.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw are all like 50 flights of stairs away from the food. Studies have shown they have 27% more wizard angst as a result.
2. It’s also basically a hobbit hole. Bilbo didn’t want to leave and neither will you.
“It is round and earthy and low-ceilinged; it always feels sunny, and its circular windows have a view of rippling grass and dandelions.” Like seriously, there are even foot warmers.
3. The house ghost is super chill.
Nearly Headless Nick has identity issues, The Grey Lady is depressing, and, as anyone who’s ever played the PC games knows, the Bloody Baron will try to kill you. Meanwhile the Fat Friar’s just like, “Yo dude y’all do whatever you want, Imma just be chilling in the kitchens until further notice.”
6. We also have Tonks.
Remember that time you were reading the fifth book and it was like angst angst angst angst WAIT A MINUTE THIS CHICK IS AWESOME. That’s right. You do.
9. We know what it means to be loyal.
“You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal.” Think about it, this is the only house that doesn’t have a traitor. Gryffindor has Peter Pettigrew, Ravenclaw has Xenophilius Lovegood, and Slytherin has like… everyone. But Hufflepuff? Your word is gold.
10. We’re NICE.
Hufflepuff is the “friendliest, most decent house of them all.” In fact, we turn out the fewest dark wizards.
11. And finally, we’re the most open-minded.
“Said Hufflepuff, ‘I’ll teach the lot and treat them just the same.’” The other founders are being all high-maintenance and competitive about who to let in and Helga’s just like WHATEVER PARTY AT MY PLACE. Like, you know this house is leading the charge on all the wizard civil rights issues.
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