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This Is A Masterclass In How To Win A Twitter Fight

Lessons from the Global Town Square™

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If you spend a lot of time on Twitter, chances are you'll come across somebody who really grinds your gears. They'll say something rude/wrong/silly/unnecessary and you'll be tempted to engage. A spat will ensue. A kerfuffle. It's important you are prepared. Below is your template. If this happens to you, assume the role of tech evangelist and Rackspace Startup Liaison Officer, Robert Scoble.

Conflict can come out of nowhere, like this link to a thoughtful and interesting post about the role of Facebook's algorithms in censoring a very important and sensitive national news story.

why I dislike fb RT @AntDeRosa “What happens to #Ferguson affects what happens to Ferguson.” @zeynep https://t.co/pUNEhXJYPm // @Scobleizer

Lauren Lockliear@LaurenLockliear

why I dislike fb RT @AntDeRosa “What happens to #Ferguson affects what happens to Ferguson.” @zeynep https://t.co/pUNEhXJYPm // @Scobleizer

3:13 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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You engage.

@LaurenLockliear @AntDeRosa @zeynep I have seen dozens of posts about Ferguson. So, maybe your friends just don't like it.

Robert Scoble@Scobleizer

@LaurenLockliear @AntDeRosa @zeynep I have seen dozens of posts about Ferguson. So, maybe your friends just don't like it.

6:32 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

A fellow thinkfluencer refutes your claim.

@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep Facebook just tends to be really bad at discovering/following news.

Anthony De Rosa@AntDeRosa

@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep Facebook just tends to be really bad at discovering/following news.

6:33 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Here is where it is important not to give up. Dig in.

@AntDeRosa @LaurenLockliear @zeynep That is NOT true. I have MANY lists on Facebook where I can discover news just as good as on Twitter.

Robert Scoble@Scobleizer

@AntDeRosa @LaurenLockliear @zeynep That is NOT true. I have MANY lists on Facebook where I can discover news just as good as on Twitter.

6:34 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep I tried using Facebook Lists but always come back here, to Twitter, because FB Lists are inferior

Anthony De Rosa@AntDeRosa

@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep I tried using Facebook Lists but always come back here, to Twitter, because FB Lists are inferior

6:35 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@LaurenLockliear @AntDeRosa @zeynep it's clear you never listen to me on Facebook. I can't speak to others. BUT I HAVE BEEN PUSHING LISTS.

Robert Scoble@Scobleizer

@LaurenLockliear @AntDeRosa @zeynep it's clear you never listen to me on Facebook. I can't speak to others. BUT I HAVE BEEN PUSHING LISTS.

6:37 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep you might push Lists but Facebook doesn’t so nobody cares about them

Anthony De Rosa@AntDeRosa

@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep you might push Lists but Facebook doesn’t so nobody cares about them

6:37 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

And then, when nobody is expecting it, repeat this tweet word-for-word:

@AntDeRosa @LaurenLockliear @zeynep I have a higher Klout score and more inbound than you do. YOU are wrong. I do this for a living too.

Robert Scoble@Scobleizer

@AntDeRosa @LaurenLockliear @zeynep I have a higher Klout score and more inbound than you do. YOU are wrong. I do this for a living too.

6:53 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

*the ground below you begins to shake*

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@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep Klout score, I’m crying laughing right now

Anthony De Rosa@AntDeRosa

@Scobleizer @LaurenLockliear @zeynep Klout score, I’m crying laughing right now

6:55 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

@AntDeRosa @LaurenLockliear @zeynep I figured you would like that. I can't stand debating on Twitter. Thinking of taking this to Google+.

Robert Scoble@Scobleizer

@AntDeRosa @LaurenLockliear @zeynep I figured you would like that. I can't stand debating on Twitter. Thinking of taking this to Google+.

6:56 PM - 14 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

For the purposes of full disclosure, the author's Klout score is 14 points lower than Robert Scoble's.

Charlie Warzel is a senior writer for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Warzel reports on and writes about the intersection of tech and culture.

Contact Charlie Warzel at charlie.warzel@buzzfeed.com.

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