9 Things That Will Probably Happen Before Elon Musk’s Hyperloop Is Operational

It, uh, might be a while…

Tesla Motors / Via

This afternoon Elon Musk unveiled his open source plans for the Hyperloop, a high speed transit system he once described as “cross between a rail gun, the Concord, and an air hockey table.” The prospect of Musk’s latest moonshot idea — which would shuttle people between San Francisco and Los Angeles in less than 30 minutes — has a lot of people pretty excited, but chances are we won’t see it for quite some time. I mean, have you been on public transportation lately?

Here’s just a few things you might be able to expect before you’re packed in Elon Musk’s low pressure/magnetic tube launcher and rocketed toward a distant metropolis:

3. This stuff won’t exist anymore.

4. But, to be fair, these probably won’t either…

Amazon / Via

5. Dr. Dre will finally stop hawking headphones and release his much anticipated final studio album, Detox

6. You will have a weekly hangout with Richard Branson and Elon Musk to discuss high speed intercontinental travel

7. You will finally be able to grow your own weed legally…ON MARS.

8. The first successfully cloned human president will send a picture of his cloned junk to another clone.

Time Magazine / Via

9. Godot will show up to hang.

10. The Jewish Messiah will arrive, buy everyone a round, and leave during a lull in the conversation without anybody seeing.

11. Our planet will turn against us. Oceans will boil. Mountains will turn to dust.

12. Basically, this.

13. Sorry, guys. You can read all about the plans here, though.

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Charlie Warzel is a senior writer for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Warzel reports on and writes about the intersection of tech and culture.
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