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Personal Flirting Styles Through The Years

Doctors hate her! Since she's closer to hitting her head falling on a rock than falling for someone else!

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1. Marry Everyone in Kindergarten

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Did I have any idea what marriage entailed? Absolutely not! But I'll be damned if I wasn't going to marry every dude in my class. Not sure if I'm divorced, but uh... I'll let you all know if I get court summons.

2. Gossip in the Bathroom

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Though not technically a flirting technique, you and your pals would all huddle in the elementary school bathroom and argue about how sensual your shared 3 seconds of eye contact with Jimmy were. Let me tell you. It was sensual.

3. AIM

It does not, in fact, go down in the DMs. It goes down in AIM. My biggest edition of "reading into things I shouldn't have" definitely took place on here in 7th grade. Me: What are u doing? Him: Studin u Me: Dannng he said "studying you" (Plot twist: he was not, in fact, studying me).

4. Ignoring the Signals

Under no circumstances approach and talk to the person you like normally. Furtive eye contact, choosing weird topics of conversation, and being a little TOO interested are the go-to moves here. Completely ignore the fact that they neglect to text you, abuse your attention, and never hang out with you! Progress!


A variation on ignoring the signals-- Go along with everything because there might? be? a? vibe? Bring flowers you picked from your house. Write terrible poetry. Feel the full fantasy baby! WOoooRk that delusion, girl!

6. Who Cares?


Base your entire validation on attention from random romantic encounters. Indiscriminately develop crushes on everyone. Flirting is inconsequential, love is more like playing Yahtzee. Does life mean anything? No, but that's another post, for another time.

7. Inevitably Having to Rely on Your Personality

Just kidding. Waggle your eyebrows, throw out a tepid compliment, get your free drink, and leave with a sassy one-off. Alarmingly, this has worked better than actually being a decent human being. (See: Guess I'll Just Die)

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