Here's what we (the people of BuzzFeed) have established:
The vast majority of Chairman Meows live in the United States. (There are probably some in the UK, but you would probably die if you named your Chinese cat Chairman Meow. Also, cat sounds are different words in different languages.)
There are 93.6 million domesticated cats in the United States. (Source: Humane Society) There are more female cats than male cats, but not by much, and we (BuzzFeed) do not totally agree on the idea that Chairman Meow is gender-specific, so we're ignoring that factor.
We assume that everyone meets one Chairman Meow in his or her lifetime. The one zany person in your sphere of life (crazy uncle, college roommate etc) thinks it's a good idea, and that's that.
We assume that an average American meets 575 cats over the course of his or her lifetime. We figured 7 cats per year, for 75 years.
So here is our very basic math:
(1 / 575) * 93,600,000 = 162,782.608
Which we will round to 162,782 because .608 of a cat is a dead cat.
We are not mathematicians, so this is probably incredibly wrong. If you are handy with numbers, would you please lend a hand? Feel free to yell at us for being very stupid! You are also welcome to randomly guess a number in the "How Many M&Ms Are In This Jar?" tradition (but we don't have any M&Ms to give you, and even if we did, we don't know the answer.)
Here are some evil cat names as a reward for reading this post:
#EvilCatNames on Twitter.
Now please help us with math!
*Chairman Meow image from Wendy Chao.